[The camera re-opens, this time outside a small apartment… inside a much bigger apartment BUILDING, somewhere in downtown Sinister City.]
[Axl and Tifa make their way toward the door of the apartment. Axl removes a key from his brand new trenchcoat.]
Axl: In a way, I’m sorta glad to be rid of that “King” persona. Atleast now I can wear cool trenchcoats instead of that stupid, tired old robe!
Tifa: Yeah, but why’d you have to get it from “Goth Topik”? I mean, don’t you think we had enough of that place back in Nowhere, Oklahoma?
Axl: Hey, even if I am grunge now, that place is STILL rad! They’re so hardcore! I mean, didn’t you see those Trollz? Their heads were skulls, Tifa! SKULLS!
Tifa: Yup, nothing says “hardcore” like an adorable little doll with colorful hair.
Axl: I know, right?!
Tifa: … OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!
Axl: Alright, alright! Jimminy Christmas, don’t get your panties in a bunch…
Tifa: Like I’m even wearing any…
Axl: Ewww! I sooo didn’t need to know that!
Tifa: … You ARE gay, aren’t you?
[Axl unlocks the apartment, and the two step inside. Everything’s a mess… from the stained carpet, to the holes in the ceiling… and of course, the holes AND stains on the walls.]
Tifa: Well… seeya.
Axl: What?! You’re not living with me?!
Tifa: Axl, you’ve had your stable mates stay with you ever since you stepped foot inside a BoB ring. It’s time for you to break out on your own, don’t you think?
Tifa: Besides, there ain’t no chance in HELL I’m stayin’ in this roach motel. I’ve got my own place on the west side of town… you know, the classier section. A cozy little one bedroom house. Nothing big, but it sure beats this dump.
Axl: One bedroom? So… you’re living by yourself?
Tifa: Oh, no. I’ve got a boyfriend… well, two… or three…. Ok, I’ve got five boyfriends. At the moment. And they all sleep with me one night of the week. I’ve ALWAYS got a man in bed keeping me company.
Axl: In other words… you’re a slut.
Tifa: HEY! I’ll have you know I am NOT a slut! I’m… well, I just get around, that’s all.
Axl: Suuure. ;^)
Tifa: Oh screw off! Honestly, if I didn’t know for certain that I can turn you into a cash cow, I’d ditch YOUR ass this time! I’ll never forget you leaving me for that floozie, Rose.
Axl: Yeah, well, you should just be glad I didn’t do to you what I did to her.
Tifa: Hey, trust me, I saw iMPLOSION 9. You practically slaughtered the poor tramp! Really, watching you and your brother rip her apart… It was kinda cool to watch.
Axl: Yeah, but I did most of the work. I mean, Vi couldn’t beat the crap out of a woman by himself. What makes him think he’s got a shot against a real MAN like me?
Tifa: Heheh, yeah. Just don’t try any of that “shocking swerve” crap on me, got it?
Axl: Oooh, yeah, I’m sure you’ll… heehee… kick my ASS! HAHAHA!
Tifa: Nah. I’ll just get my lawyer to sue you for every penny you have, effectively ending your career, and having you wind up on the streets, sucking cock for spare change.
Tifa: I’ll catch ya later, k? I’ve got dinner with Ralph. Or is it Lawrence… Dammit, I always get those two mixed up. Anyway, have fun in your new dump. Er… apartment. Ciao!
[Tifa exits the apartment, leaving Axl a bit concerned. He walks toward his couch, and plops down.]
[Axl lifts up and looks down at the couch seat… where a spring is poking out.]
Axl: Dammit, this place SUCKS! Well, atleast there’s a tv.
[Axl flips on the tube… The news is the first thing Axl sees.]
CJ Mathews: Hello folks, and welcome to the 6 o’clock Newz. The results for the Sinister City election are in.
Axl: Yay. Color me excited. I’m just JUMPING for joy, over here…
CJ Mathews: And it’s a tie.
Axl: Lucky bum! That guy should – … Hold on a sec… What do you mean a TIE?!
CJ Mathews: You know, a tie. When two or more competitors come in at the same ranking, score, or number?
CJ Mathews: Yes, both candidates tied… at zero votes each. And so, it is with much honor that I now announce the city’s new CO-mayors, who are as follows. First of all, Tony Fark, who formerly went by the last name of his half brother Mario Spaghetti. He now goes under his REAL name, the name given to him by his father. His brother Mario has also decided to use HIS father’s last name, as he becomes sole owner of the family pizza parlor. From now on he will be reffered to as – Mario Luigi. “Mario’s Pizza and Games” opens to the public next week. And as for Tony’s co-mayor, our roving reporter Rebecca Mulesworth is standing by with him now…
[The screen switches to the mayor’s office in the mayor’s mansion, where Tony Fark is sitting at the mayor’s desk… playing some sort of handheld system. Rebecca stands beside the desk, microphone in hand.]
Rebecca: Thank you, CJ. Uhm… well, I was supposed to meet Mr. Fark’s co-mayor today, but I’ve only been able to find Mr. Fark himself. Tell me Mr. Fark, what are you playing?
Tony: It’s called a DS-P, and it’s from Vi-Tech. Vi-Tech is a small company led by our former mayor’s esteemed brother. Yes, Viruz, the man who gave the world the X-Station Wii60. I’m proud to be the beta tester for this genius device, which is set to be released soon, just in time for Christmas.
Rebecca: You’re being paid to sponsor this thing, aren’t you.
Tony: Well… yes. But I just LOVE this “Brain Weight” game.
Rebecca: Brain… Weight?
Tony: Yes! It’s a game that allows you to determine how smart you are, simply by inputing the weight of your brain!
Rebecca: But… how exactly are you planning on finding out the weight of your brain? Wouldn’t you have to dig it out first?
Tony: You’re absolutely right! Which is why I plan on using that scalpel over there pretty soon!
[Tony points at a scalpel on the desk. Rebecca looks at the scalpel… and then stares at Tony, completely confused.]
Rebecca: Uhm… sir? Don’t you think that may be a bit… dangerous?
Tony: … You’re right!
[Tony chucks the handheld across the room, causing it to break apart.]
Tony: Piece ah junk! That’s the last time I buy a game from that stupid ol’ gypsy!
Rebecca: … I thought you said Viruz made that?
Tony: I don’t have any viruses! Crabs maybe.
Rebecca: … Where’s raYne?
[Suddenly, a knock is heard from under the desk. raYne shoots up… and wipes his lip.]
[Tony zips up his pants.]
Rebecca: Oh… my… GOD. You’re telling me you were under there the WHOLE time?! You… you were sucking his…
raYne: Oh calm down sweetie! I wasn’t pulling a Lewinsky if that’s what you were thinking!
Rebecca: … You weren’t?
raYne: Nooo, of course not! I’m not Tony’s intern! I’m his co-mayor!
Rebecca: … So?
raYne: That makes this way, WAAAY different! Honey, Monica was sucking Billy C’s schlong to make her job a bit cushier. But I’ve got just as much power as Farky over here. I was just doing it because, well, I likey me some dick!
raYne: So, what were you waiting on lil’ ol’ me for?
Rebecca: Uhm… I just… uh…
Tony: Hey, wait a minute… I just noticed something! raYne, you were down there for like an hour! You couldn’t have been tying my shoe! And why are my pants wet…
Rebecca: … Back to you CJ. Sheesh…
[Back in the apartment, Axl clicks off the tv. He fumes with anger…]
Axl: I cannot BELIEVE this! Not only is Tony the mayor… but so is RAYNE! And the worst part is, there’s nothing I can do about it! I no longer have any power in this city… I’m nothing more than a commoner!
Axl: I’m stuck at the bottom… climbing my way back to the top.
Axl: I’ve been forced to begin again…
[Axl looks into the camera.]
Axl: And Viruz… brother… this is ALL your doing. The loss of my mayorship? Your doing. Michelle leaving me? Your doing. The destruction of MY castle? YOUR doing. Every single loss I’ve suffered over the past year? Your doing! The Fall of the Hierarchy?! YOUR DOING!!!
Axl: But… when the Viruz is finally cleaned from BoB’s system? When your blood stains the mat… every last inch of Sin City Stadium… and the STREETS of Las Vegas?
Axl: When the only member of the Hierarchy left in BoB… is the one who began its rise all those months ago? Then…
Axl: It shall be my doing.
Axl: You chose not to Believe, dear brother. Now… you shall be left.
[Axl reaches into his trenchcoat pocket… and pulls from it his iPod. He pushes the headphones into his ears… and presses play.]
“I walk the maze of moments.
But everywhere I turn to
Begins a new beginning
But never finds a finish.
I walk to the horizon,
And there I find another.
It all seems so surprising,
And then I find that I know…
You go there, you’re gone forever.
I go there, I’ll lose my way.
If we stay here were not together…”