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RESULTS FROM BRAWLERS ON A BUDGET’S OCTOBER SURPRISE (PART 2)

Steve Studnuts wanted to send a message Dr. Silaconne M. Plants, the man he’ll face next month at MegaBrawl II in the main event. Mission accomplished. Studnuts, along with Seth Harker, Kurt Angel, Sarah “The Jobber Slayer” and Death beat on Plants until he was unconscious at the end of the Snore Games main event at October Surprise. Plants was on Studnuts’ team, but that didn’t matter to Studnuts tonight. It wasn’t about a win or a loss. Studnuts wanted to hurt SMP. Here’s how it all came about.

-Part 2 kicked off with Sarah confronting Trey Vincent out back about Vincent’s departure from BOB. After discovering Vincent was with her sister, Michelle, in the limo, Sarah decided to give Michelle a new gimmick: Scatwoman.

-Pretty Boy defeated Kamikazie Ken in a brutal affair that ended after some sneakery by the parrot involving a barbed wire cracker. Insano Mano tried to come out to help Ken, but he was assaulted by Coma, and Hallucination Boy and some rakes.

-Backstage, Jerri Li and Scatman tried to come up with some match stipulations for a contest at Deathmatchapalooza. However, that event looks to be off as Jerri Li was seriously hurt in Snore Games later this evening.

-Up next, Kay Fabe interviewed Angel, who had yet another surprise for the BOB fans. He was no longer going to face Zombie Mr. Fantastic. His replacement: Misty Waters. Death wasn’t happy about this, and it looked like the former Skull & Stoned Society friendship was about to implode.

-Waters was victorious in her match against Mr. Fantastic by disqualification, due to Katie Death eating her to death, which was against the rule Vincent had set in place at the beginning of October Surprise. Post-match, Death and Zombie Mr. Fantastic brawled.

-Kay Fabe interviewed Team Studnuts. Things of note: Kay Fabe and Lindsay Lohan have quite a few things in common; Black Power; and Studnuts and Sarah are apparently going to get drunk and hook up later.

-American Panda defeated Axl in a Bamboo on a Bamboo Pole Match. Viruz played a pivotal role near the end of the match, turning on his brother for months (and years) of abuse. Now set for MegaBrawl II: Viruz vs. Axl in an Anywhere “Anywhere Is” Is Playing Match.

-Kay Fabe interviewed Team Greatful Dead next. Things of note: Death promised he wouldn’t betray the team, Pirate rap, and Mr. Stabby.

-While The Flunky and the ring crew assembled the Snore Games cage for the main event, we went to some pre-taped action: D-Van Drudley, Rubba Ray Drudley and Long Schlong Drudley vs. Small Tyke Drudley, Little Good, and Pigeon. The good guys won after a surprise cameo by BOB legend douja!

-Main event time. And it is possibly the bloodiest match in BOB history. Team Great (The Great, Death, “XFactor” Pete Trable, Kid Pirate, and Jerri) defeated Team Studnuts (Studnuts, Plants, Harker, and Sarah) when Plants was unable to continue. The match kicked off with a surprise as Angel became the fifth member of Team Studnuts to kick off the first five-minute period against Jerri.

Death was the third entrant, and that’s when his true colors were revealed. He quickly turned on Jerri, and Kurt and Death spent the next two minutes pounding on Jerri. Things only got worse two minutes later as Studnuts entered the cage to make it three-on-one! That numbers game made all the difference the rest of the way through. By the time Pirate entered, he had to fight Studnuts, Death, and Angel all by himself for two minutes. Then Harker entered the fray to make the odds even worse. Trable entered next, followed by Sarah, The Great, and finally Plants. Just when things seemed all even, as Plants made it clear he wouldn’t fight on the same side as Studnuts, things got bad.

The Great was lovecuffed to the ropes. Sarah kicked open the cage door and Team Studnuts tossed Jerri, Pirate and Trable out of the cage, before locking the door shut. While Sarah tickled The Great, hoping for a submission, Studnuts, Harker, Death and Angel beat on SMP relentlessly, until finally after multiple Death Valley (Of The Sun) Drivers, SMP was knocked out and the match ended.

MegaBrawl II, BOB’s biggest show of the year, should be off the charts next month. Until then, check out October Surprise (Part 2)!

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RESULTS FROM BRAWLERS ON A BUDGET’S OCTOBER SURPRISE (PART 1)

Fittingly, Brawlers On a Budget’s On-Demand event October Surprise kicked off with several surprises: a firing, a hiring, a re-signing, a talent raid by the Legacy of Champions, two members of the iAd fighting each other, and a robbery. And that was just the opening segment!

-The show kicked off with BOB’s Vice President in Charge of Everything Trey Vincent heading to the ring. He announced the firing of Generic Ref and the hiring of new, sexier referee, Vicky Jean. Little Good eventually volunteered to bring Generic Ref to the woods and leave him.

-Up next, Vincent revealed that he has re-signed Axl to a one year contract and inserted Axl into the match later tonight against American Panda. The crowd didn’t like this one bit. They also didn’t like that Vincent banned any eating of any other BOB roster member tonight.

-Some unfamiliar music interrupted Vincent, as a man representing the Legacy of Champions emerged and offered Vincent a bag full of money for his sports entertainment services. The fans shouted, “You’re selling out,” and that’s exactly what Vincent did. He signed an LoC contract and tried to say goodbye, but Vincent’s longtime buddy, fellow iAd founder, and BOB’s ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS Steve Studnuts came out to find out what was going on. After some rather unkind words between the two, Studnuts ended up hitting a Death Valley (Of The Sun) Driver on Vincent, and then taking some of Vincent’s cash!

-Backstage, Kay Fabe interviewed Team Kobe. Kobe offered to wean Kay off unnaturally pale white boys.

-It was time for the first Snore Games match of the night, as Kobe Gyant led Al U. Minium-Ladder, Acoustic Guitar, Woody Table, and Mike “The Monotone” Monroe to victory over the 4 Steelchairs (Steel, Red, Black and Beige) and their manager Va-Jay-Jay Dillon. Dillon had a last second surprise for Kobe’s team, however. She was apparently too injured to compete and had a replacement: The Human Foreign Object! This brutal, bloody, fiery match featured one of the most insane bumps you will ever see, as Gyant hit a shooting superstar press from the top of the ladder on top of the cage and put three of the 4 Steelchairs through Woody Table, before the roof collapsed!

-Outside of the hotel, Jerri Li had a proposition for Trey Vincent (who we learned is staying on as BOB’s Executive Producer) — Send Us Money: Deathmatchpalooza. Yes, Jerri will be the Vice President in Charge of Everything for BOB’s next On-Demand later this month. And that one won’t be safe for children!

-In tag team action, The Wizard and Thomas Largeman had an easy go of it in their debut against the reunited Fingerbang XXX (XXXtreme Machine and Snapmare Kid), picking up their first win decisively.

-Backstage, Kay Fabe interviewed Pretty Boy, who had some unkind words for Kay, Kid Pirate, and Kamikazie Ken.

-Outside once again, Trey Vincent was greeted by his ex-wife Michelle, who was seeking Vincent’s powerful VP position. After throwing some trash into the back of the limo, Vincent was apparently ready to get down to *ahem* business.

-And in the final match of Part 1, Scatman and Christian St. Christian defeated Violent Pacifist and Mr. Intensity after some help from Jerri Li and a flaming ironing board!

Check out October Surprise (Part 1)!

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RESULTS FROM BRAWLERS ON A BUDGET’S TOTAL NON-ACTION WRESTLING iMPLOSION! #14

-The final Brawlers On a Budget show before October Surprise kicked off with Seth Harker being ambushed by Kid Pirate, who had cleverly hidden a net with leaves in a hallway. Pirate demanded a “Walk The Plank” match with Harker at MegaBrawl II and to put his job as Acting BigBOSS on the line. Harker had no choice but to accept, unless he wanted to keep getting poked in the arse with KP’s sword.

-We then found the Fetish Freaks in a bathroom, where Scatman appeared to be on acid. Jerri Li decided that she’d like to see Christian St. Christian take on Scatman at October Surprise in a hardcore snowball fight.

-BOB welcomed the offensive players from the Sin City Icons of the FBL to the ballroom prior to the main (and only) event of iMPLOSION. BOB’s own Trey Vincent owns the Icons.

-Acting Vice President in Charge of Everything Dr. Silaconne M. Plants made a change to the Fetish Freaks’ hardcore snowball fight idea, telling the Fetish Freaks that they wouldn’t face each other, but instead two former BOBsters. Who will the mystery team be? Find out at October Surprise!

-In a main event shocker, SMP prevailed in the Swiss Army Belt Scrabble Scramble Match by getting the final pin of the 20-minute match on BOB’s Grand Slam Champion, Steve Studnuts! Death, The Great, and “XFactor” Pete Trable also participated in the match. SMP replaced “Stupendous” Steve Hawking, who was pushed down a stairwell last week by a mystery assailant. Also during the match, Vincent appeared and provoked the football players. We still don’t know where Vincent is. Possibly the proctologist trying to get a frying pan out of his backside.

-Post-match, new Swiss Army champ SMP had one final surprise as we head into October Surprise: we learned the main event of MegaBrawl II will be SMP vs. Studnuts for the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS, Swiss Army Belt, and Not Good Enough To Fight Alone Tag Team Titles!

Check out Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #14!

Ted news brawlers on a budget, e-fed, ewrestling, parody, wrestling

RESULTS FROM BRAWLERS ON A BUDGET’S TOTAL NON-ACTION WRESTLING iMPLOSION! #13

-The show kicked off with Kamikazie Ken and Insano Mano attempting to call a truce with the Fetish Freaks after last week’s events. Their solution? A special homemade dinner, featuring Friend Tentacle and Ground Beast!

-Zombie Mr. Fantastic and Kid Pirate’s match ended in a no contest once Seth Harker, Steve Studnuts, Trey Vincent, and Sarah “The Jobber Slayer” stormed the ring and attacked Kid Pirate. The Great, XFactor Pete Trable, and Death made the rescue, though Death went looking for some of Zombie Mr. Fantastic first. Eventually, Jerri Li, Christian St. Christian, Scatman, Kamikazie Ken, Insano Mano all got involved in the giant fustercluck.

-After the brawl came to a standstill, BOB’s Acting Vice President in Charge of Everything Dr. Silaconne M. Plants arrived to make an addition to Snore Games: Kid Pirate! Studnuts demanded a fifth member for his team, and in a shocker, named Plants as their fifth man! The iAd then tried to cause dissension between Pirate and Plants, showing a video from a past episode of iMPLOSION in which SMP Nipple Cutted Pretty Boy!

-Viruz volunteered to take on American Panda at October Surprise. SMP was glad to make that match, and booked a Bamboo on a Bamboo Pole Match.

-Kobe Gyant and Al U. Minium-Ladder defeated Steel Chair and Red Chair due to outside interference by the 4 Steelchairs and Va-Jay-Jay Dillon.

-Post-match, Mike “The Montone” Monroe, Woody Table and Acoustic Guitar came to Gyant and Ladder’s rescue. We were also treated to a catfight between Kay Fabe and Dillon!

-Kurt Angel declared a zombie jihad and challenged Zombie Mr. Fantastic to a match at October Surprise.

-Fingerbang XXX (XXXtreme Machine and Snapmare Kid) then faced off in a town hall debate, trying to convince uncommitted viewers to buy October Surprise. The Wizard and Thomas Largeman appeared on the scene and put a beating down on FXXX.

-In what turned out to be the main event, Jerri Li defeated Kay Fabe in a match that was too hot for TV! You’ve just got to see it to believe it. Jerri Li in nothing but saran wrap? Oh baby!

-In a shocking post-match development, “Stupendous” Stephen Hawking was found thrown down a flight of stairs. Who pushed Hawking’s wheelchair down the stairs?

-Kid Pirate and Kamikazie Ken had a dramatic face to face staredown. Interspecies sexual tension anyone?

-With the show rapidly running out of time, we found out that there will be a special bonus iMPLOSION next week! The promised Swiss Army Belt Scrabble Scramble Match between Steve Studnuts, The Great, XFactor Pete Trable, and Death will go on as scheduled. But what about Hawking? Will he be able to gut out the pain and compete? Does a paraplegic feel pain?

Check out Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #13!

Ted news brawlers on a budget, e-fed, e-wrestling, parody, wrestling

This Wednesday, Brawlers On a Budget returns to G5 TV with Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #13, the final stop before our next BOB-On-Demand event, October Surprise.

BOBWrestling.com has received the following information regarding Wednesday’s iMPLOSION from BOB’s Acting Vice President In Charge of Everything Dr. Silaconne M. Plants:

-Kid Pirate takes on Zombie Mr. Fantastic!

-Kobe Gyant + Al U-Minium Ladder team up to take on Steel Chair + Red Chair in a preview of Snore Games at October Surprise!

-Plus, Jerri Li takes on Kay Fabe!

-And in the main event, Swiss Army Belt champion Steve Studnuts defends against The Great, Death, XFactor Pete Trable, and "Stupendous" Stephen Hawking in a Swiss Army Belt Scrabble Scramble Match. Here are the rules for the match: The match will last 20 minutes. The order of entry is as follows: XFactor Pete Trable, Death, The Great, Steve Studnuts, "Stupendous" Stephen Hawking.

There are two ways to win. Either A. You pin every other competitor in the match before the 20 minute time limit expires (i.e., Studnuts would have to pin The Great, Death, Trable, and Hawking before time expires), or B. Score the last pin in the match. There are no DQs or countouts. Also, just confirmed: football players from the Sin City Icons of the FBL will be at ringside making Scrambled Eggs for use as weapons. This one will no doubt get egg-treme!

-Also now that Axl is gone from BOB, what does that mean for Viruz’s future? And what will American Panda’s reaction be to the brutal assault last week at the hands of Axl?

-And will we find out who bought the Beer in the Belly case? Trey Vincent indicated that he sold it on iMPLOSION 11. Could we see it cashed in?

All this, and possibly less on the next Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION!

(Card subject to bait-and-switch)

Ted news BOB Wrestling, e-fed, ewrestling, parody

RESULTS FROM BRAWLERS ON A BUDGET’S TOTAL NON-ACTION WRESTLING IMPLOSION! #12

-The show kicked off with several former BOBsters, including Nic Flare, D-Van Drudley, Rubba Ray Drudley, Rob Van Spam, and Super Gluey, who had apparently won a “free chainsaw.” Little did they know what they had really won. A Sin City Chainsaw Massacre!

-American Panda had a successful BOB debut as he defeated…make that DEVOURED, the Thirstiest S.O.B. in BOB, Luke Warm.

-Post-match, Axl arrived to dish out some punishment to American Panda with several wicked bamboo shots to the masked panda’s skull. Dr. Silaconne M. Plants, BOB’s Acting Vice President in Charge of Everything, arrived to confront Axl and challenge him to a Loser Leaves BOB match!

-Technical difficulties prevented us from visiting the Scrabble game backstage between Steve Studnuts, The Great, “XFactor” Pete Trable, Death and “Stupendous” Stephen Hawking. The scores will determine the entry in next week’s Scrabble Scramble Swiss Army Belt Match!

-Kamikazie Ken and Insano Mano picked up a DQ victory over the Fetish Freaks’ Scatman and Tentacle Beast. The post-match assault by the Freaks was apparently to disgusting to make it on the air.

-XamfARRR provided us some literary greatness in the form of two future BOBsters, The Wizard and Thomas Largeman. Fingerbang XXX (XXXtreme Machine and Snapmare Kid) arrived and accidentally set the set on fire.

-And in the main event, Dr. Silaconne M. Plants defeated Axl with a Med Degree, which means Axl is now GONE from BOB.

Check out Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #12!

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This Wednesday, Brawlers On a Budget returns to G5 TV with Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #12 as we get closer to our next BOB-On-Demand event, October Surprise.

BOBWrestling.com has received the following information regarding Wednesday’s iMPLOSION from BOB’s Acting Vice President In Charge of Everything Dr. Silaconne M. Plants:

-Swiss Army Belt champion Steve Studnuts, The Great, Death, XFactor Pete Trable, and “Stupendous” Stephen Hawking will compete in a game of Scrabble as part of the Swiss Army Belt Scrabble Scramble Match. On iMPLOSION 13, Studnuts will defend his title against these four other brawlers. But on iMPLOSION 12, the Scrabble game will determine the order in which all five competitors will enter the gauntlet style match for the title shot. Highest score enters last, lowest score enters first.

Here are the updated rules: The match will last 20 minutes. There are two ways to win. Either A. You pin every other competitor in the match before the 20 minute time limit expires (i.e., Studnuts would have to pin The Great, Death, Trable, and Hawking before time expires), or B. Score the last pin in the match. There are no DQs or countouts. Also, just confirmed: football players from the Sin City Icons of the FBL will be at ringside making Scrambled Eggs for use as weapons. This one will no doubt get egg-treme!

-Luke Warm has demanded it, and he’s got it. He will face American Panda, who makes his Brawlers On a Budget wrestling debut!

-Also making their wrestling debut will be the Fetish Freaks’ Scatman and Tentacle Beast as they face BOB veterans Kamikazie Ken and Insano Mano. Ken has been having some problems with Pretty Boy, Kid Pirate’s parrot, of late. Will Pretty Boy risk getting its beak dirty in this one?

Plus, SMP promises a very special main event that you won’t want to miss! What could it be?

-And will we find out who bought the Beer in the Belly case? Trey Vincent indicated that he sold it on iMPLOSION 11. Could we see it cashed in?

All this, and possibly less on the next Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION!

(Card subject to bait-and-switch)

Ted news e-fed, e-wrestling, fantasy wrestling, parody, wrestling

This Wednesday, Brawlers On a Budget returns to G5 TV with Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #11 as we get closer to our next BOB-On-Demand event, October Surprise.

BOBWrestling.com has received the following information regarding Wednesday’s iMPLOSION from BOB Vice President In Charge of Everything Trey Vincent:

-In six man action, you’ll see Kid Pirate, Coma and Hallucination Boy team up to face Seth Harker, Insano Mano and Kamikazie Ken!

-Kobe Gyant is looking for revenge on the 4 Steelchairs after what happened at Running On Empty, and will go one on one with Black Chair!

-BOB needs a number one contender for the Swiss Army Belt. So, to sort this out, The Great and “Stupendous” Steve Hawking will face off in a number one contenders match.

Jerri Li made a shocking return from beyond last week. Will we learn more about her new stable of “Fetish Freaks”? And does Jerri still hold a grudge against Sarah “The Jobber Slayer,” the woman who defeated her for the T&A XX Division Title?

Plus, American Panda seems to be gunning for Axl. Meanwhile, Axl has a chance of a lifetime to face Trey Vincent for the Beer In The Belly on iMPLOSION 12 if he can come up with $50. Can he do it? Or will American Panda eat him before he can find the cash?

All this, and possibly less on the next Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION!

(Card subject to bait-and-switch)

Ted news e-fed, e-wrestling, fantasy wrestling, parody, wrestling

Lots of doings a’ transpiring in Brawlers On A Budget after last night’s Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #10 as we get closer to our next On-Demand event, October Surprise.

Here’s what you can see if you go now:

-Steve Studnuts and Death battle for the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS in a cage! Is there a new champion, or was BOB’s Grand Slam Champion able to hold onto all his titles?

-Zombie Mr. Fantastic puts the moves on a married zombie. Are we going to have to call in Joey Greco and the “Cheaters” team soon?

-SNORE GAMES: The Match Be-Yawn will return at October Surprise! Find out who the teams will be!

-A former T&A XX Division Champion made a shocking return. Who was it? I’m not telling. Go read!

-American Panda gives its first exclusive interview to Mike Monroe. Wow, how’d we get that scoop?

-Misty Waters, star of the new softcore straight-to-DVD “Lickyou Terrace,” battles with reigning T&A XX Division Champion Sarah “The Jobber Slayer.” Can the porn queen pull an upset?

-Luke Warm and Axl go one on one. Can the Hierarchy overcome the thirstiest S.O.B. in BOB?

-Trey Vincent extends an offer to Axl that he can’t refuse…unless Axl can’t come up with $50. What happened? You’ll have to watch it to find out!

Are you ready to Cross The Lame?

Ted news e-fed, e-wrestling, fantasy wrestling, parody, wrestling

Next Wednesday, Brawlers On a Budget returns to G5 TV with Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #10 in the aftermath of Running On Empty.

BOBWrestling.com has received the following information regarding Wednesday’s iMPLOSION from BOB Vice President In Charge of Everything Trey Vincent:

-The number one contender for the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS, Death, is cashing in his title shot against Steve Studnuts. Further, Death has demanded after what happened at Running On Empty that it be held in the confines of a steel cage! Will we see a new ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS?

-Sarah “The Jobber Slayer” the new T&A XX Division Champion, will also be in action in a non-title match against Misty Waters. Has Sarah seen the last of long-time foe Jerri Li?

-In other action, you will also see Axl go one-on-one with Luke Warm!

-Plus, BOB will unveil the main event for it’s next On-Demand event, October Surprise!

All this, and possibly less on the next Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION!

(Card subject to bait-and-switch)

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