A wise champion
DOODBVD sat cross-legged on a little platform, surrounded by pillows and gypsies. They were fanning him with what at first appeared to be a beach towel, but then it became clear, it was the Japanese flag. At his feet were his two new titles, the 10 Peso Version Championship and Pipsa© Special Championship. A man in a suit and tie approached the stage and kneeled down before the five steps that led up to the platform.DOOD
BVD: HOOOOOOOOO! What’s your question, weak guy? HOOOOOOOO!
Man: Well, I was wondering…I’ve been dating this, girl, for a while. And I want to marry her. But her stupid parents say she’s too young for marriage. And I was just wondering, do you think I should marry her?
DOODBVD scratched his beard and thought about it for a second.DOOD
BVD: It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. HOOOOOOOOO!
Man: So, you’re saying I should get her pregnant?
DOODBVD scratched his beard and thought about it for a second.DOOD
BVD: Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day. HOOOOOOOOOOO!
DOODThe man looked at his hands, which were NOT in his pocket. He looked at BVD, puzzled.DOOD
BVD: That, one, was, for me, *heh* HOOOOOOOOOOO! So, HOOOOOOOOO. Are you HOOOOOOO. Asking me. HOOOOOOOO. If you should HOOOOOOOOO. Bang an underage HOOOOOOOOO.
Man: Yeah, pretty much.
BVD: Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change, HOOOOOOOOOOO.
DOODOne of the girls wheels out TV/VCR with a pre-taped clip from the “Tonight Show”DOOD
Ed McMahon: HIYOOOOOOOO.
BVD: HOOOOOOOOO!
Santa Claus: HO HO HO! HOOOO HO HOOOOO.
BVD: HOOOOOOOO!
Ed McMahon: HIYOOOOO!
BVD: That zinger was for BVD again, HOOOOOOO!
Man: Where did Santa Claus come from?
Santa: The North Pole.
DOODThe man rolls his eyes.DOOD
Man: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Brock. Do you have an answer for me?
BVD: Passionate kiss like spider’s web…soon lead to undoing of fly. HOOOOOOOO!
Ed McMahon: HIYOOOOOOO!
Santa: HOOHOO HOOOO.
Man: I’ve had it. I’m out of here. Here’s some advice for you BVD. People who make Confucius joke speak bad English. HOOOOOOOO!
Ed McMahon: HIYOOOOOO
BVD: HOOOOOOOO!
Santa: HO HO HO.
DOODA giant green foot crashes through the ceiling and smooshes the man in the suit.DOOD
Jolly Green Giant: Ho, ho, ho.
Voice-over: Green Giant.
Sound: Ping!
BVD: Oh yeah, and Undietaker and Khan. It doesn’t make you bad not being able to steal the undies of BVD… it just makes you like everybody else. Because I’m Mr. Sunday Morning, B-V-D. Everything’s warm when you’re BVD, cuz I cover the whole f’n hole!