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Welcome To Rant Zone ArchiVe!

February 12th, 2008
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Hey all. This is it. Enjoy!

Leary ooc , ,

More Channel Surfing

January 11th, 2004
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John Leary note: This originally was posted by “A Channel Surfer.” Who was me. Just a fun way to continue hyping Sunday Morning Chloroform

[A cartoon fellow swallows some nicotine gum and mumbles something before the show fades to black.]

CAPTION: COMING IN FEBRUARY…

[A sexy photo of Kay Fabe flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Sarah "The Jobber Slayer" flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Nurse Heidi flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Candy Cantaloupes flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Jeannie flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Christina Aguilera flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Brooke Burke flashes on the screen. Then a sexy photo of Jenna Jameson flashes on the screen.]

BigBOSS’s voice: Hold it, hold it! Who is running this slideshow? We’re supposed to be showing picture of BOB’s sexiest women. Christina Aguilera and Jenna Jameson are not in BOB.

[Cut to a cramped television studio.]

Scotty Whatbody: You told me to fill 30 seconds, BOSS. Have you seen Massive Man in a thong? Not a pretty sight…Hey, I forgot this hot BOB chick!

[A photo of Michelle Gellar flashes on the screen.]

BigBOSS: Scotty! She’s only 16!

SW: You mean her hooters are gonna get bigger? Woohoo!

BOB. Are you ready to rumble?

February 2004.

Look out, WWE!

Leary rant , , , , , , , ,

Channel Surfing

January 11th, 2004
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John Leary note: This originally was posted by “A Channel Surfer.” Who was me. Just a fun way to start hyping Sunday Morning Chloroform

[Several random channels flip by before pausing on "South Park."]

Evil Woman: (Singing) There’s got to be a morning after…

Chef: (Singing) If we can hold on to the night…

[A shot of the horrified faces of Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman.]

Chef: (Singing) We have a chance to find the sunshine…

[Fade to black.]

BigBOSSes voice: In 20004…no, make that 2003…I mean 2004! Gah! Can we re-edit that bit?

Voice: Sure.

BigBOSS: In 2003…DAMNIT!

Voice: Are you alright?

BigBOSS: I’m FINE! I just can’t type. My script is a mess.

Voice: What happened to it?

BigBOSS: Same old story. I’m just typing away and my wife just keeps nagging me. Women…

Voice: Yep. What’s that have to do with the script.

BigBOSS: Nothing, really. Say, are you going to finish that doughnut?

Voice: Umm…yes?

BigBOSS: You sound a bit unsure.

Voice: Do I?

BigBOSS: Yes. You do.

Voice: Why don’t you just explain what BOB is for all the viewers.

BigBOSS: Boobs.

Voice: BOB is Boobs?

BigBOSS: Say, that’s a good name for our new B-show!

Voice: B-show?

BigBOSS: You know, like Smackdown is Raw’s B-show.

Voice: I don’t think we’re supposed to mention the WWE.

BigBOSS: Nobody else is mentioning ‘em much these days either my friend. BOB is sweeping the nation! Next? The world! I hear we’ve got a strong showing in New Zealand already.

Voice: What about wrestling?

BigBOSS: What about it?

Voice: Well, the viewers are going to want to know a new wrestling program will be airing on Comedy Central.

BigBOSS: Sure, at 3 a.m. And there are no rules then, baby! Probably because everyone is asleep, or in an alcoholic coma.

Coma: Poink!

BOB. Are you ready to rumble?

February 2004.

Look out, WWE!

Leary rant , , ,