Archive for April, 2009

Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #20 Results!

April 23rd, 2009
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SIN CITY – Chaos. That one word best sums up Brawlers On a Budget‘s Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #20. The night began with 10 hellacious chair shots, and ended with the ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS tapping out in the middle of the ring.

ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS Dr. Silaconne M. Plants def. Sarah via pinfall. SMP prevailed against the former two-time OWCTM as complete chaos erupted during this potential Match of the Year candidate. Executive Producer Trey Vincent inserted himself as the special referee for the contest, while everyone from the locker room headed out to watch this historic main event (and possibly Sarah’s last appearance on iMPLOSION). Steel Chair instigated the entire incident by rappelling into the ring. Vincent tossed Steel Chair at Steve Studnuts, who batted the chair away with the Medium-Sized Bucket™, but right into The Great. Everybody brawled, with Jerri Li, Scatman, and Christian St. Christian eventually taking out everyone. The Fetish Freaks finale? A vicious tombstone for Sarah delivered by Jerri Li on a cheese grater chair, leading to SMP getting the pin. Post-match, however, Kobe Gyant, the number one contender targeted SMP, the man he’ll face in the cage at Gluttons For Punishment on May 2, and locked him in the Dribbler Crossface. SMP tapped as iMPLOSION went off the air!

Kevin the Pyromaniac returned to BOB, and after taking out the various Mr. Fantastic clones – including Cyborg, Chocolate, Jell-O, Kung Pao, British, Beachball, Paperclip, Origami, and Rubix Cube Mr. Fantastics – and unleashing his Burning Elbow, vowed to finally become the hardcore champion.

Kobe Gyant def. Kid Pirate via pinfall to win the Swiss Army Belt. However, Gyant was stripped of the title post-match at SMP’s urging, and Kid Pirate forced Gyant to decide between defending the title in the upcoming Royal Flush Rumble at Gluttons for Punishment and face SMP, or to focus all his attention on SMP. This proved to be a no-brainer for Kobe, who said the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS is all that matters to him.

Axl def. Jerri Li in a Great American Bash In Axl’s Skull Match via not having his skull caved in. Jerri pulled out all the stops, including a double chair, ladder chair, table chair, flaming chair, barbed wire chair, cheese grater chair, light tube chair, and even a C4 chair! Axl looked to be done after the tenth brutal chair shot, but Sarah ran out with everybody knocked out by the C4 explosion and duct taped Axl to the ropes. This is what forced Jerri into her actions later in the night, costing Sarah the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS.

Up next, BOB heads to Intercourse, PA for the Gluttons For Punishment 2 On-Demand! Check out the entire GFP2 card, and send us your money!

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March Mayhem 2009 Results!

April 15th, 2009
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Dr. Silaconne M. Plants, Brawlers On a Budget‘s ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS, shocked the parody e-wrestling world on March 11 when (in an attempt to ‘prove’ himself as the greatest ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS of all time) he proclaimed that he would defend THE ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS in the original March Mayhem Tournament format.

SMP put up his title in a non-booked 65 man tournament based on the outcomes of NCAA tournament games. BOB wrestler fortunes were determined by the teams they were matched up with. For example, if one of BOB’s wrestlers got paired with the Kansas Jayhawks and Kansas won the National Championship, then that person would have become the new ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS.

It was unprecedented. It was crazy. Why would a champion do this? Why would a champion that could skate to Gluttons for Punishment 2 to face Kobe Gyant in a Steel Cage match risk losing his title beforehand and ruin a saucy main event?

Because, as SMP said at the time, “I’m the best. And Carolina should win this year.”

The NCAA “March Madness” tournament is always unpredictable. Now you can relive all the action as 65 men, women, and inanimate objects seek to become the ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS in March Mayhem 2009!

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Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! 19 Results!

April 9th, 2009
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SIN CITY – Death and You Gotta Be Kidding Me I Ain’t Doing That, Are You Out of Your Frickin’ Mind T&A XX Division Hardcore Champion Hamster Girl went “6 Rounds” in a memorable You Gotta Be Kidding Me I Ain’t Doing That, Are You Out of Your Frickin’ Mind T&A XX Division Hardcore Title match on Brawlers On a Budget’s Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #19. But in the end, Hamster Girl successfully defended her title against Big Bony with a little help from her manager.

Hamster Girl’s manager, Sammy Stoner, gave Hamster Girl a “leg up” and caused Death to fall out of a helicopter in the final “challenge,” a Last Entity Not Thrown Out of a Helicopter Match. Death tried to steal the win with some help from fellow Entities of Destruction members Dr. Silaconne M. Plants, the ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS, Kid Pirate, the Swiss Army Champion and Acting BigBOSS, and Steel Chair. However, Kobe Gyant and Joe Bananas (along with Red Chair and Black Chair) made the save, as the feud between Gyant Bananas and the EOD continues to intensify.

Hamster Girl’s other challenges this night included not getting her title belt stolen, tongue wrestling XXXtreme Machine in an elevator for 20 floors, kissing Scatman‘s feces-covered tushy, finding a certain room in the hotel containing a photograph of her beltnapped belt, and eating a plate full of evil German peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

Not Good Enough to Fight Alone Tag Team Champions The Great & “XFactor” Pete Trable defeated Steve Studnuts and Christian St. Christian, after Christian turned out to be Executive Producer Trey Vincent in disguise. Vincent unmasked after delivering a Coming Down on his former buddy, and setting up Studnuts for a Twist of Great for the pin. Vincent then also got some revenge on referee Vicky Jean, hitting her with a Shocking Conclusion before ripping off her top!

Throughout the night, footage of Scotty Whatbody “training” (some might call it “torturing”) Axl to prepare him for his next match, a Great American Bash In Axl’s Skull Match, on the next iMPLOSION! Numerous chair shots, hot rocks, broken glass, thumbtacks, a “cat fight” in pudding, and watching “One Night In Chyna” are just a few things Scotty cooked up for Axl’s training sessions in Sinister City to toughen him up!

Kobe Gyant & Joe Bananas defeated Jerri Li & Viet Kong in a Vietnamese Deathmatch. If you like blood and barbed wire, then this is the match for you! Well, as much as G5TV would allow us to do, anyway.

The night began with the Entities of Destruction celebrating SMP’s successful ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS defense in the March Mayhem 2009 tournament. Gyant came out to confront SMP, and also try to stir up some trouble within the group, before Viet Kong (and his manager “Charlie”) made his return to BOB after a long absence. Bananas came to the rescue of his partner, however, and Kong ended up taking a ride off the plank through a stack of flaming tables that mysteriously appeared!

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