Not Safe For Work
[The scene fades in on a window pane as rain splatters against it. Cut to a woman’s foot. The camera pans slowly upwards as a pair of fishnet stockings are unrolled over her silky smooth legs. The camera keeps going past her tight stomach, her skin the color of crème brûlée, her breasts, hidden behind a black bra, and neck until it reaches her face. It’s Jerri Li! She hasn’t been resurrected more than a few days and she already has clothes pegs all over her face.]
Jerri Li: I suppose I should thank you for bringing me back from Hell. There was no pain, no pleasure nothing. Just blackness. It was so boring.
[There is no answer, just giggling.]
Jerri Li: Are you even listening to me?
[Jerri turns around to see new found stable mates huddled around a computer monitor. Jerri looks mad at not being the center of attention and stomps over to them.]
Jerri Li: What are you guys doing?
[She sees what they are watching.]
Jerri Li: You guys are perverts.
Scatman: Hey!
Christian St. Christian: Dude, you are just about the most perverted man I’ve ever met.
Scatman: Moi?
[Scatman stands up on the seat of his chair, puts his hands on his head and rotates his hips like a male stripper.]
Scatman: I’m just hyper-sexual baby. Fuck, now I’m horny.
[Scatman jumps down and runs off screen.]
Jerri Li: Where’s he going?
CSC: You don’t want to know, trust me.
[Tentacle Beast takes over control of the computer.]
Tentacle Beast: Sweeeet.
[Tentacle Beast gets about half way through the video before running off as well, making squishy noises as he goes.]
CSC: He’s had to convert to girls in catholic schoolgirl uniforms, poor guy. They don’t squeal enough for him.
Jerri Li: You guys ARE perverts! I suppose you like old grannies vomiting on each other.
CSC: Nah, that’s more Scatman’s kinda thing. I just have a crush fetish.
Jerri Li: You have a fetish for having crushes on girls?
CSC: Not quite.
[Jerri Li turns her neck and looks at St. Christian.]
Jerri Li: I think I understand.
CSC: Anyway, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Jerri Li: BOB?
[He nods.]
Jerri Li: Five minutes with you guys and that place seems normal.
CSC: Yeah, well.
[St. Christian cracks his knuckles over his chest.]
CSC: You want to get back at Sarah The Jobber Slayer right?
Jerri Li: Yes.
CSC: If you’ll join our stable we can help you. She’s well protected by the higher ups in BOB, but there’s little that can stand in the way of a psychopath with an iron chain, an eight foot demon and a guy covered in faeces. We’ll make sure you have your revenge and regain your T&A XX Division championship.
Jerri Li: I am going to tear Sarah limb from limb.
CSC: That’s all to come. But for now, I thought there might be a way we could combine our own personal fetishes.
[He puts on a pair of golf shoes and points for Jerri to lie down on the floor.]