Axl 3:16 – part two.
Axl: STONECUTTER!
Viruz: Oh God, not again…
[Axl boots Vi, dressed in the Luke Warm costume he was told to purchase, and then drops the rip off of a rip off with a sloppy Stonecutter. Even sloppier than the real thing.]
[Vi flies through the air, before slamming back first in the middle of a makeshift ring in the castle's "courtyard". Axl begins to stomp Vi down, as his brother yelps in pain.]
Axl: Had enough?
Vi: YES! Stop it for the love ah pete!
Axl: Alright, alright.
[Axl stops, and helps Vi up. Vi holds his gut with one hand and his neck with another, as Axl pats him on the back.]
Axl: Alright, go take a rest. You deserve it. … After the ASS kicking I just handed you, bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Vi: …
[Viruz heads into the castle. As he does, he passes Michelle.]
Michelle: It didn’t really hurt, did it.
Vi: Nah, but ya gotta give a dog a bone every once in a while.
Michelle: Aren’t you the nice one. Ya ever think about -
[Michelle whispers into Vi's ear, as he begins to smile.]
Vi: Heheh… mmm, ya know, you’re one tempting little dish, Michelle.
[Vi looks into Michelle's eyes... and the two begin to lean in closer... and closer... when - ]
Axl: Hey you two, what’s crack-a-lackin’!
[Axl claps Viruz on the shoulder, and Vi and Michelle look a bit uncomfortable.]
Michelle: Heyyy… I’ll be inside, you two have fun.
Vi: But – !
*door slams*
Vi: …
Axl: So, bro. How’d you enjoy having a few mudpies stomped into ya?
Vi: It’s mud HOLES, Axl. Mud – … Forget it. Hey, why don’t you cut a promo out here, and I’ll go screw your chick.
Axl: What?!
Vi: I said I’ll go inside and cook dinner, geez, you need to get your ears checked…
Axl: Huh… Sounded like you said -
*door slams*
Axl: … Aw well. [looks into the camera] Luke! I am your father! HAHAHA! Ahh, I crack me up… But seriously.
Axl: You used to be a legend here, Luke. An icon. A… really important dude. Now? You’re NOTHIN’. Nada, zip, zilch, not a single damn thing! And what am I? The biggest fuckin’ thing this sorry excuse for a company has to offer, and yet, I’m pullin’ the curtain, opening up the card by beating the crap out of your sorry, pathetic, worthless, dried up, has been ASS. But… it’s ok. Because I know, deep down within the confines of my cold, black, eeevil heart, that I WILL, soon, be back as a main-eventer!
[Wait... you were a main eventer?]
Axl: YES! I main evented… a couple of times.
[As in two? Or less?]
Axl: ATLEAST two! But regardless of how many times I’ve main evented on tv or ppv, I am absolutely destined to become a main eventer… and the ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS!!! And I’m not going to let anyone stand in my way of accomplishing that goal, whether it be some bald-headed bumbledink HICK, such as Luke Warm, or even some euceleptis leaf munchin’ PANDA, such as American… uh… PANDA… !!!
Axl: Why?
Axl: Because I am… The Savior. I Am… The King. And I AM -
[Suddenly, the cameraman dozes off to sleep, due to intense boredom, causing the camera to crash to the ground, and go to - ]
*static*
Axl: Note to self… bribe the Great’s son Little Johnny into creating a robot camera man. I wonder if he could use any more plutonium…
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