Fashionista
[Jerri Li is sat on a stool in front of a mirror, putting on makeup. She dabs powder foundation onto her face with a 150 brush, small puffs being drawn up by the ceiling fan. She glues false eyelashes onto her lids and uses an eyelash curler on them. She paints her nails with white polish and rubs pink lipstick onto her lips. She takes a drag from a lit cigarette before putting it out in a glass of water.]
Jerri: Much better.
[The camera pans away, moving slowly across the brightly decorated pink bedroom, to a man in tighty whiteys tied to the bed.]
Jerri: I hope you had your eyes peeled during that.
[She cuts two apples in half with a knife.]
Jerri: I know it must be scary waking up after eleven hours of sleep, don’t worry, you’re not going to starve to death.
[She walks across to him, rips the duct tape from his lips and drops the apple segments into his mouth.]
Jerri: Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Jerri Li and I am a professional wrestler.
[The man laughs.]
Jerri: What’s so funny?
Man: Pro-wrestling?! That’s just people making it look like they’re hurting each other.
[Jerri digs her fingernails into his chest and pulls them down to his belly.]
Jerri: You’re the prisoner here, I’d watch your luck. As I was saying…
[She coughs.]
Jerri: Wrestling is only my day job, it’s a great occupation if you want to hurt people and be hurt back. For you see I am also a sadomasochist.
Man: Oh shit.
[She opens a closet door and pulls out a long, black leather whip.]
Jerri: You wont be leaving this room in a wheelchair or even a bodybag, you shit stained eyesore. Anyone trying to find you will need a fine tooth comb. But before you kick the bucket, baby, I’m going to age you considerably. You’ll have crow’s feet all over your greasefire of a forehead. I’ll pull your teeth out and show you all the things I can do with bamboo.
Man: Wait, wait… isn’t BOB supposed to be a parody promotion. I remember now, I’ve seen you on TV. How do you get away with it all?
Jerri: BOB let’s me do whatever I want for one reason.
[She slowly unbuttons her shirt and pulls her miniskirt down around her ankles, revealing a snakeskin bikini underneath. She takes a bottle of baby oil and rubs it all over herself. Despite his impending doom the man starts to become a little excited. Before we get to windmachines whipping through her hair level, Jerri dives on the man with a pair of scissors and the scene fades to black. The next morning she had Shredded Wheat for breakfast.]