The past is back to haunt them
Kid Pirate stands in the attic bedroom of his loyal crew.
Ok, an Indian 7-11 attendant known as Dinesh the Dastardly and a parrot, known as Pretty Boy.
But there a crew nonetheless. YARRR… or something like that.
Dinesh is on his computer clicking away through the BOB website when he sees something, puts a hand over his mouth and looks up at Kid Pirate who seems bewildered at what Dinesh is doing.
Kid Pirate
So ye click on this here mouse that doesn’t squeak and it sail yer ‘puter on the World Wide Web that ain’t be made from spider’s arse?
Dinesh the Dastardly
Uh… yessir. That is right, sir. But sir, I have found something on the BOB website.
Kid Pirate
The website that no be made from spider arse?
Dinesh the Dastardly
Yes, sir. It’s about the BOB roster sir.
Kid Pirate looks at Dinesh and scratches his head with his hook.
Kid Pirate
Tell me, Dinesh… YARRR! Tell me who be this BOB you speak of.
Dinesh scratches his head and looks from the computer to Kid Pirate a few times before trying to explain.
Dinesh the Dastardly
Sir, you are a wrestler at the BOB sir.
Kid Pirate
YARRRR! I’ll rassle any land lovin’ blighter. Jus’ let me at ‘em. I don’t care who this Bob feller is but I bet he’s a land lovin’ land lover! YARRRR!
Pretty Boy
Land lovin’ land lover! RAWK!
Kid Pirate
That’s roight, Pretty Boy. I’m the baddest pirate to sail the eight seas. I’ve raped, pillaged and caught trains without a ticket. I be fearless and frivalous. Frightenin’ and fierce. You mess with Kid Pirate it’s yer heart I’ll pierce! YAAAAAAAARRRRRR!
Dinesh looks at him bemused.
Dinesh the Dastardly
Eight seas, sir?
Kid Pirate
YARRRR! There be eight seas. I thought there was only seven but last night I gave yer mammy my Jolly Roger an’ fell into the eighth. It was loike throwin’ an elephant in an abyss it were. Loike drivin’ a Mack truck down a sink hole. Lucky fer me I was wearin’ me hook so I could claw my way out otherwise the dastardly rip tide in the eighth sea mighta taken Kid Pirate far, far away. I seen seventeen other men who never survoived and yer pappy says “ta take out the trash on Wednesday”.
Dinesh the Dastardly
Daddy?
Kid Pirate
YARRRR! Yer pappy. The postman says he didn’t get ta give you yer birthday cards but it be warm down there and he likes eatin’ the cheese.
Dinesh the Dastardly
But my birthday was eight months ago!
Kid Pirate
YARRRR! Happy Birthday fer eight months ago.
The pair stood in awkward silence for a while as Dinesh tried to get over the fact he missed out on birthday cards. Poor Dinesh. He’ll be ok. Just make sure you send them early this year, OK?
Kid Pirate scratches his arse with his hook as Dinesh remembers where they were up to on the script… er… where the conversation was headed. Phew. Saved it that time. Mental note: quit typing
Dinesh the Dastardly
Surely sir, you remember BOB? The wrestling federation?
Kid Pirate
Would that be the same BOB that took some gold from Kid Pirate’s treasure chest?
Dinesh the Dastardly
Yessir. That is the same BOB sir.
Kid Pirate
YAAAARRRR! I’ll murder the lot of ‘em. How do I get to this BOB’s house?
Dinesh the Dastardly
You see, sir. You were in BOB, sir. But BOB has moved your “bio” on the website…
Kid Pirate
The web that neigh come out a spider’s arse?
Dinesh the Dastardly
Yessir. They moved your “bio” to “Past Superstar“.
Kid Pirate
They did what?
Dinesh the Dastardly
It appears sir, that your no longer a current BOB superstar.
Kid Pirate
YAAARRRR! I’ll murder the lot of ‘em. I be slittin’ throats and makin’ the lot of ‘em walk the plank. Dinesh, Pretty Boy… it’s time we paid BOB a wee visit! YAAARRRRRR!
And with that they all stood up and left the room, setting sail to find BOB and get Kid Pirate back on the active superstars list.
Only time would tell if BOB was ready for the return of Kid Pirate. And if this roleplay promo has anything to do with it… you’ll wish he stayed retired.
***YAWN***
Here’s a cock: 8====3