Petite Slayer Rendition Uno
[Sarah "The Jobber Slayer" is seen staring at a poster of Jerri Li.]
Sarah: I can’t believe you have a poster of her on your wall.
[Kay Fabe puts a finger against the two-dimensional lips of Jerri Li.]
Kay: Well, she did touch me down there. No woman has ever touched me like Jerri Li touched me. Not even Seth.
Sarah: Um-kay.
Far-off voice, possibly Seth: Did you just call me a woman?
Kay: No, sweetie. Don’t you have a backstage segment you’re late for or something.
[Dead silence.]
Sarah: How are you feeling, Kay?
Kay: The tombstone through the stack of tables. Yeah, it kinda hurt. Thus, the neckbrace.
Sarah: Ah, didn’t even notice it. Thanks, Detached Narrator.
[Second Cousin of the First Evil, remember?]
Sarah: Yeah, whatever happened to that whole deal, DN?
Kay: You vanquished evil, because it’s what you do! You’re the chosen one! You’re the one and…, well, you’re the one of three Jobber Slayers. That we know of anyway.
Sarah: Where’s Freddy Prinze Jr. when you need him.
Kay: Zuh?
Sarah: He’s a writer for SmackDown.
Kay: Writer? *Pffft* Think you have a brain injury, missy!
Sarah: Right. Anywho. How do you think I’ll do inside of Jell-O in a Cell-O?
Kay: You’ll do great. Just don’t let her grab your groin, or you’ll get all aroused and distracted. Serious not goodness.
Sarah: Yeah, I often have THAT problem when women grab my crotch. *Rolls eyes* Say, first, let’s ask that guy who’s chained to your wall who he thinks will win.
Kay: Who, Josh G?
Sarah: Why do I know that name? Man, I’m having a massive mental block. It’s like somebody renditioned my brain.
Kay: Josh, who do you think will win when Sarah and Jerri wrestle in jell-o?
Josh G: Umm…Sarah?
Sarah: Sounds good to me. Well, there you have it, straight from the lips of the guy who is chained to Kay Fabe’s wall for no apparent reason.
Kay: (Mouthing the words) Mistress. Of. Pain. (She then does the Rob Van Spam thumb pointing thingee.)
Sarah: Ariel, this time, I won’t drop the title. Because all I have to do is pin you.
[Kay hands Sarah a banana. Sarah hands Kay a plastic bag.]
Kay: Oh, baby!
[Um, what's in the bag?]
Kay: Oh, I totally made this banana super powerful for added extra slayage power. All Sarah has to do is slay Jerri with this banana and she’ll become the T&A XX Division Champion and live out her full life as a champion. It’s sort of like that movie about the little mermaid…what was that movie called?
[Right...but what's in the bag?]
Kay: … Stuff.
Sarah: It’s some hair, OK?
[You're giving Kay some hair? That's...hot. Wait, it doesn't look like you've cut your beautiful blonde hair.]
Sarah: Well, I haven’t…
[...But that would mean...SEXY!]
Sarah: Sexy? Brought it back.
Kay: And someday soon, she’ll grow her hair back. And Trey will probably make her cut it again. And hopefully Sarah will need another favor from me. Goddess, I’ve missed you.
Sarah: Ditto. Well, I’m outie. Bye.
[Sarah rubs the banana against poster Jerri's lips. Fade to black.]
Sarah (Voice): She’s totally slayed. She just doesn’t know it yet.