Preparation
[Jerri Li is backstage at Power Is Stolen preparing for her first defense of the T&A XX Division Championship in a match against Sarah later 'tonight.' She has a man, surprise surprise, tied up with rope with his testicles stretched out using a pully system. Jerri slams the door behind her.]
Man: Um… ouch.
Jerri: Oh please, that’s nothing compared to what I’ve got in store for Sarah.
[Jerri unzips her bag of weapons and puts on a glove with spikes on the palm.]
Jerri: Think I should use this to squeeze her tits?
Man: You do know you’re only allowed to use the weapons provided.
Jerri: But… I was going to pull her teeth out with a pair of pliers and try and see if she could deepthroat a 2×4.
Man: Sorry sweetheart, just chairs, tables and ladders this time.
Jerri: For fucks sake, how am I supposed to win then? I don’t know all that many wrestling moves and she’s been going since God knows when.
Man: I think two women beating each other with furniture and a ladder is extreme enough.
[Jerri empties her weapons bag out over the floor.]
Jerri: If those are the stipulations I’m just going to have to take it out on you first.
Man: Come on, I’m already going to need a walking stick after this.
Jerri: Maybe you can get that Steve Hawking dude to hook you up with a good deal on a wheelchair then.
[The scene fades to black as Jerri sifts through crocodile clips, paperclips, staplers and sandpaper. Imaginative isn't she?]