Wiggerocity – pt.1
[We open to a scene from a day or two ago. The camera is set upon the dinner room of the Residence of Evil, where Axl is single handedly clearing the table. He, Viruz, Michelle, and newest Hierarchy addition Kurt Angel finished their meal a few minutes ago, and the Heavenly Champ has taken his leave. While Axl puts away the dishes and silverware, Viruz stands near, speaking with his brother.]
Viruz: Bro, that was a great meal Michelle prepared.
Axl: [looks at Viruz] You actually think she PREPARED that?
Viruz: You mean she didn’t?
Axl: Heheh… Dude, seriously, she ordered that shit from a resteraunt down the block, hurried over here before I got home, set the table like it was an elegant feast, and acted like she just slaved over a hot stove for hours upon hours. The plate’s are sort of a dead give-away.
Viruz: Whadya mean?
Axl: Well, the fact that the plates are plastic and have the logo of the resteraunt underneath?
Viruz: Ahhh…
Axl: It’s starting to become something of a trend. But hey, atleast it beats the nauseating garbage the Great’s wife more than likely plunks down in front of him and his putrid family. I’d hate to have to choke down whatever nasty, grimy, barf-inducing crap that wench serves every night.
Viruz: You’re not kidding. And the dinner accomplished our mission. Kurt’s on board… from what I can tell, anyway. And when the On-Demand rolls around? Great and his lackey, Peter Griffin, won’t know what’s hit them.
Axl: It’s going to be QUITE the interesting event, you’ve got that right… [Axl's cell rings] Oh, that’s gotta be Garth. He’s working a shift at the Sinister City Day Care Center.
Viruz: … Why?
Axl: Well, he’s in the business of evil. And nothing’s more evil than vile little, snot-nosed kids. Rotten to the core, I tell ya… Just look at the Great’s brat… Johnny 5 or whatever. [answers the phone] Hey… Yo Garth, how’s it going… You don’t say… You don’t say! … You don’t say. Ok, we’ll be right over.
*click*
Viruz: Well? What was it about?
Axl: He didn’t say!
Viruz: ::)
Axl: Heheh, actually, he called us over to the center. He wants us to meet and greet with the little punks. He’s telling them some BIG wrestling stars are coming over.
Viruz: … Who?
Axl: … US!!! Numbnuts!
Viruz: Uh… we’re ‘big wrestling stars’?
Axl: Hey man, I don’t know about you, but as far as I’m concerned, the entire WORLD of professional sports entertainment revolves around the greatness that is The Me. And when those kids take a look at my awesome abs, my chiseled torso… my beautiful biceps… why, they’re going to fall madly in love with me!
Viruz: Or vomit…
Axl: WHAT WAS THAT?!
Viruz: I said OR VOMIT.
Axl: Oh.
Viruz: …
Axl: Well, we better be headed off. You drive.
Viruz: Why do I always have to drive? Last time I almost ran into a pole…
Axl: Last time I drived I ran over the Mayor of Sinister City.
Viruz: You know, I never asked this, but… who IS the Mayor of Sinister City?
Axl: Well, until a week ago, it was Prancer Giuliani. But, thanks to my vehicular “accident”, someone near and dear to my heart has obtained the position after being fired from her position at [adult swim] for being “too risque”.
Viruz: Wait… you’re saying?
Axl: Our mom!
Viruz: Excelsior!
*they high-five*
Axl: Now not only does the Hierarchy control BoB -
Viruz: Well, besides the titles… and the actual ownership of the company… or the ‘Vice President in Charge of Everything’ position… or even the ‘Acting BigBOSS’ position -
Axl: AHEM!
Viruz: Sorry.
Axl: – But now, our wonderful mother controls the city we now call home. It’s a lovely thing, isn’t it bro?
Viruz: Meh… she always preffered you.
Axl: Which only makes it all the sweeter!
Viruz: Says you…
Axl: And I’m ALLLways right, dude. Now grab the keys, and let’s blow this popsicle stand!
Viruz: As long as I control the radio. I hate listening to that loud grunge crap you’ve started blasting out of the stereo non-stop…
Axl: Hey, man. I AM grunge. Besides, it beats the techno shit you’re always listening to. Those posers don’t even use REAL instruments!
Viruz: UH-HUH! They do too use real instruments! The electro-synth is a thing of musical magnifence!
Axl: Yeah… about as magnificent as the sound of a wet fart.
Viruz: >:(
Axl: ;D
[And so, the brothers grabbed the keys, charged up the Volkswagon, and charged off to the day care center... onward and upward for great justice.]
- continued -