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Bag Hangover Promo #3

June 29th, 2008

[Kevin is squashing tomato ketchup packets with a hammer. He pretends they’re Trey Vincent’s face and mumbles under his breath.]

Kevin: stupidsonofabithccostmethemaineventmatchwillya?

Kevin the Pyromaniac

[Kevin removes his sweat drenched red Harley Davidson t-shirt and flexes his pale muscles the size of grapes.]

Kevin: Trey, if we’re gonna have a match against each other at Unfourgiven, I think I should have a say in the stipulations. You’ve screwed me left right and center and this is my payback, just give me a chance to mop the floor with you.

[Kevin beats his flat chest as violently as he can.]

Kevin: Trey, I challenge you to a Street Fight! But not just any kind of Street Fight, no no no. I’ve made it my mission to kill sports entertainment forever. Get The Flunky down to your local gardening center with a pair of wire cutters at night and steal as many concrete slabs as he can fit in that cheap ass pick up truck of his. I want a REAL Street Fight, with stop signs, traffic cones and everything. At Unfourgiven I am going to give Sports Entertainment a parking ticket!

Clive: That’s not particularly scary.

Kevin: Fuck, ok… at Unfourgiven I will kick Sports Entertainment to the curb!

Clive: Eh, better I suppose.

Kevin: Stop ragging on my threatening one liners!

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