That’s… How I Roll A Joint
[Wow, it's been ages since I Ranted. Even though I swear I Ranted sometime in the past four years, I'll be damned if I can find the proof. Ah, the things these drugs do to my brain. Well, UnFOURgiven is coming up, and I have a date with density. A man named Viruz. But enough of me narrating my own thoughts, let's focus in on the door of a hotel room. The door has a "Kurt Angel" logo on it. The door opens quickly, and out steps the Greatest Parody Wrestler in the World Wide Web Today®, Kurt Angel, along with Little Good for some reason.]
Kurt: Can you believe Trey Vincent? I’m the only Heaven’s Olympics gold medal winner in Brawlers on a Budget, and they book me into a match with Viruz? Who the freak runs this place? I deserve a shot at the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS. Not false, not false.
Little Good: Why don’t you try ranting more than once every five years or so, mate?
Kurt: Oh yeah, buster? When’s the last time YOU ranted?
Little Good: I’m not the one crying like a bloody baby over it, mate. And why am I with you? Ain’t I with those conspiracy nuts?
Kurt: I think they’re getting cut.
Little Good: I can see it now. (Pretending to hold a bullhorn) My firing was an inside job! My firing was an inside job.
[Little Good lights up a cigarette.]
Kurt Angel: Viruz, my dookie has more talent than you. And it was even greener than your mask, buster!
LG: You might wanna see a doc about that, mate. That doesn’t sound right.
Kurt Angel: Where my stash at?
LG: I think you just smoked it all. *Cough* Remember?
Kurt Angel: No. So it must have been good. Viruz, remember, I’m a former ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS. Sure, you may have beaten me before, and you’ll probably beat me again. You just better make sure it’s bad enough that a hospital has to take me in and pump me full of morphine. DAMN full of morphine! ‘Cause that’s how I roll a joint!
LG: New catchphrase? I’m almost impressed. Too bad it is bloody awful. You still suck. Maybe you should wait seven years until your next rant…