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April 16th, 2008

Steve Studnuts

~~~Steve Studnuts is seen wearing a leisure suit in the ballroom of what appears to be a luxury liner/cruise ship. He has a microphone and a familiar theme to people sorta old plays faintly in the background.~~~

Studs: (singing, sounding like a cross between William Shatner and Chris Isaac.) Loooove………Oh it’s shin-y and new.

Come aboooooard, we’re EX-pec-TING yooooooooooooooooooooou.


Hop-ing to find some-one to fuck.


When you’re Stud-nuts you don’t need luuuuuuck.

There’s a chance when you’re sailing that you’ll maybe find ro-maaaaaance….

The on-ly thing that you’re thinking is getting in-to her pants.

Spread ‘em wide and start licking, that bitch will start kicking, if the boat is a rockin’, don’t be fucking knocking…


Rub your puss-y on my washboard abs….


Here’s hop-ing I don’t— get—- the craaaaaaaabs!

~~~Sound of needle scratching across a record.~~~


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  1. April 18th, 2008 at 11:26 | #1

    *A small tugboat is sailing after the cruise ship, Dr. Thrilla standing with one foot on the bow and a pair of binoculars to his eyes. We get a POV shot from the binoculars, showing Studnuts butchering the “Love Boat” theme. He turns and nods to Cecil, who’s holding a ridiculously large RPG-launcher.*

    Dr. Thrilla: *Confirming metal clanging*

    Cecil: Firing one, doctor.

    *Cecil fires off the weapon, which blows a massive hole in the side of the cruise ship. The tugboat sails away, Thrilla clanging “Yellow Submarine”.*

  2. April 18th, 2008 at 19:54 | #2

    ~~~And then, on a small, motorized, life boat…Steve Studnuts is seen bouncing away on choppy waters. Four days later, he’s wearing the same suit, on what appears to be a Party Barge on Lake Havasu.~~~

    Studs: Looooove, Oh it’s shin-y and new.
    Come aboooooard….we’re EX-pect-ING yoooooooooooooooou!


    Pre-par-ing for a great vo-YAGE!

    The Looooove Boat!

    Here’s hop-ing you’ll suck my sau-SAGE!

    Overhead P.A. System: Um, sir… please leave the stage at this time.


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