Home > rant > Off to Utah—

Off to Utah—

January 24th, 2008

The Great

(The Great is packing his gear bag when his wife walks in.)

The Great’s Wife: What are you doing? You’re not leaving me are you?

“The Great”: No, The Great is not leaving you. The Great just got notification that The Great needs to catch a flight to New Horizon where The Great will make history.

The Great’s Wife: Well it’s about damn time! You better go by WWE and get in with them before you go, I set up an appointment. Tell them you’re about to win that title and they need you.

“The Great”: The Great doubts that is a possibility anymore. The Great put out some crappy promos just prior to the event, Nick wrote one of them and it was horrible. The Great probably jinxed The Great’s self.

The Great’s Wife: Oh, for crying out loud! What’d you do THAT for? How are we going to pay for these Glamour Shots I just had Mom go to? Huh? Huh? Do you have an answer for that? You were supposed to win and get lots of money. Now what?

“The Great”: Your Mother had Glamour Shots done? The Great is interested in what magic Glamour Shots could have done with that model. Let The Great see the Glamour Shots.

“The Great’s Wife: I have them right here! Look, isn’t she beautiful? They did a wonderful job.

“The Great”: There doesn’t seem to be any glamour in the Glamour Shots. The Great notices a slight improvement, but she still looks like the gearshift knob in a Plymouth Duster.

The Great’s Wife: You’re an a-hole! Sometimes I hate you so much! How could you say such a thing?

“The Great”: It wasn’t hard. The Great calls ‘em like The Great sees ‘em.

The Great’s Wife: Go to your damn wrestling show! But you better go by WWE like I told you and start making some money at wrestling or you’re done! GO!

(Subtitle: Lambert-St. Louis International Airport. The Great boards a plane.)

(Subtitle: Stamford, Conn. WWE Headquarters. The Great walks in.)

Receptionist: Hello. Do you have an appointment?

“The Great”: Yes. My wife made it.

Receptionist: (snort) Ooooookay. What road agent contacted you?

“The Great”: Huh?

Receptionist: Road agent. You from OVW?

“The Great”: Say huh?

Receptionist: Look, we already had a Eugene. What is your name? Do you know THAT?

“The Great”: The Great.

Receptionist: The Great what?

“The Great”: The Great. That’s it. The Great.

Receptionist: Oh, are you trying to be Dwayne Johnson? What’s your REAL name?

“The Great”: The Great. That is The Great’s name. And The Great works for the Brawlers on a Budget and is about to make professional wrestling history by winning its World Title in The Great’s second match.

Receptionist: The what? Never heard of it. Hey, Raymond, come here!

(A pimply-faced geek in his early 20’s walks up and first indications would suggest he does something with web design for wwe.com)

Receptionist: You ever heard of Brawlers on a Budget?

Raymond: Yeah! That’s place f’n blows! They have a cool website, though. The wrestling sucks, didn’t a title win itself there?

“The Great”: Actually, The Great thinks it won itself on three different occasions.

Receptionist: Get out.

“The Great”: But The Great’s wife will be—-

Receptionist: GET OUT!

(Subtitle: Some airport near Stamford, Conn. The Great boards a plane.)

(Subtitle: Utah. The Great gets off a plane.)

“The Great”: The Great is ready, for whatever fate will await—- The Great. Hopefully, it will be the fate—
that The Great—

does ANTICIPATE!

The Great will grace you VERY soon, Death!

(Meanwhile, in St. Louis—-)

The Mother in Law: Whuh whuh whah WHAH!

The Great’s Wife: No, Mother—- you do DO NOT look like a gearshift knob!

(Now we fade out—-)

rant , , , , ,

Comments are closed.