BNYTR2M
[Scene opens with Trey Vincent wearing a turban, seated behind a desk, dressed up as Cognac The Magnificint...Mangnificnent...Magnivincent? Fuck!]
TV: Fuck! My brain’s on strike, too! And you wonder why the show’s late? I can’t even type! I mean…speak?
Misty Waters: Hahaha. YES! YES! YES!
[The camera pans back to reveal Misty Waters in a school girl uniform.]
TV: Thank you, Misty McOrgasm.
MW: YES, YES, YES!
TV: Is it cold in here, or is it just your nipples?
MW: HIYO!
TV: Wow. This bit is really dated.
MW: Simsalibim. Cognac, by the way, nice job on the subject line. Typing in the security code as your subject. What a way to fight the system.
TV: Whatever. In my hand, I have three hermetically sealed envelopes. They provide the questions, but I will provide the answers, psychically, that will no doubt hilariously rip to shreds my foes at MEGABRAWL!
MW: Uh, Trey? MEGABRAWL was last month. Remember? The one where Michelle got Pigeon dropped.
TV: Oh, right. Good times!
MW: You sure you’re a psychic?
TV: Cognac needs a drink! And a place to warm my fingers. Misty, spread your legs.
MW: Hiyo!
TV: May your brain go on strike so you’re forced into recycling old Howard Stern bits based on Johnny Carson bits.
MW: Simsalibim.
TV: Alright. Let’s get to this. I don’t have much time.
[Trey holds an envelope to his head and closes his eyes.]
TV: A clown, Coma, and Misty McOrgasm.
MW: A clown, Coma, and Misty McOrgasm.
TV: Is there an echo in here?
*RIP*
*POOF*
TV: Name a Doink, a guy I will annihilate at New Horizon whose catchphrase is Poink, and a chick I really want to boink.
MW: Is this bit supposed to be funny?
TV: That depends on your definition of funny…
MW: Right.
TV: OK.
[Trey holds an envelope to his head and closes his eyes.]
TV: The iAd. Something long and hard. And Pete Trable defeating Trey Vincent at New Horizon.
MW: Wow, that’s long.
TV: Stop looking at Cognac’s Magnivincent bulge and do your job.
MW: I meant the answer.
TV: The answer? Right. Is it so hard to cut and paste?
MW: Just keepin’ it fake. *Sigh* The iAd. Something long and hard. And Pete Trable defeating Trey Vincent at New Horizon.
*RIP*
*POOF*
TV: Name a stable, a table, and a fable.
MW: Huh?
TV: Cognac is drunk!
MW: I wish I was. I’ve never heard of a “long and hard” table.
TV: I’m sure you’ve heard of something else that’s long and hard. And if not, come under the desk and I’ll show you.
MW: HIYO!
TV: The Yugo. The Pinto. And XXXtreme Machine.
MW: The Yugo. The Pinto. And XXXtreme Machine.
*RIP*
*POOF*
TV: Name three worthless machines!
MW: HIYO! Hahaha! YES! YES! YES!
TV: Cognac must go…to the bar! See you all…in hell. Order New Horizon, bitches!
[Trey trips and falls. Fade.]