Hanging with Misty, identity theft and crank calls
Caption: Sin City, King Leary Motel
[Inside a motel room, Trey Vincent was typing away on a computer and wearing a green iAd T-shirt, sweatpants and headphones. If you had a really good ear, you could hear the strains of "Gears of War" by Megadeth playing. A knock at the door interrupted whatever porn Trey was looking for. He headed to the door and looked through the peephole before opening it.]
TV: Did anybody ever tell you you look totally sexy through a peephole?
Misty Waters: I think that was a line in one of my movies, actually.
[Misty walks in, and Trey shuts the door.]
TV: Damn it. I need to come up with some original material.
[Misty tosses her jacket and purse on Trey's bed.]
MW: Hey, you’re not speaking in third-person…again. What’s up with that?
TV: I’m not? Weird. *Ahem* I…*ahem* I…damn! So what brings you here?
MW: I dunno. Just seeing what you’re up to.
TV: Porn surfing, pretty much.
[A cell phone rings.]
TV: Hold on a second.
[Trey picks up the cell phone and looks at the number.]
TV: Hello?
MW: Oh, this is going to make fascinating Rant material…
TV: Yes. How are you guys?
MW: A one-way conversation.
TV: Awesome. So we’re good to go. What about BOB, that wrestling fed? Any interest in that?
MW: BOB?
TV: Really? Really? That’s fantastic. Of course. Right. Cool. Yeah. See you then. Thanks.
[Trey hangs up.]
TV: How do you feel about a little road trip with me?
MW: Where to?
TV: Los Santos.
MW: Really? Why?
TV: Trey Vincent’s getting back on TV.
MW: Oh he is? What about you?
TV: You got any good credit cards?
MW: Are you serious?
TV: *Sigh* That Kevin T. Pyromaniac got cancelled for some reason. I need to get a new one. Isn’t douja’s real name Adam or something?
MW: Trey!
TV: Huh? Fine. I won’t use douja’s name.
[Trey pulls out his wallet, and then a credit card. Misty grabs it.]
MW: Insane O. Mano?
TV: Right.
MW: Does he even have a Social Security number?
TV: Surprisingly, he does. At least, the guy who originally started with that gimmick.
MW: What? That’s not the original Mano?
TV: Does Mano sound like a white guy pretending to be a luchadore anymore? He’s fluent in Babelfish.
MW: I thought Mano’s real name was Frank.
TV: Oh, come on! That’s so unrealistic. How would you know that unless you just cheated and looked at his bio page.
MW: I have a photographic memory, asshole. The computer is right over there.
TV: What’s the worst that could happen?
MW: Hmm…you ARE facing him in a six-man tag match. Along with Kurt Angel and douja. That’s two former ONLY WORLD CHAMPIONS THAT MATTERS.
TV: douja? He’s been so busy getting stoned lately, he’s forgotten to rant since March Mayhem. Mano is just a Mexican cruiserweight. No big thing. And Kurt Angel…man, we’ve had some wars in BOB and in other places.
MW: Yeah, too bad you’re not sleeping with the BOSS’s daughter anymore.
TV: I know. I should be sleeping with Michelle and I should have the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS. Wait…is Death sleeping with Michelle?
MW: I doubt it. Although, I did hear a rumor that she can’t have kids. Maybe Death killed her uterus.
TV: BWAHAHAHAHA! Awesome. Yeah, and Pigeon sure isn’t getting helped by his relationship with my ex-wife. I seriously need to find a new chick, Misty.
MW: Yep. You sure do.
TV: Misty.
MW: What?
TV: When are you gonna stop the charade and drop those panties?
MW: *Sigh*
TV: I’ll get an AIDS test. Whatever it takes.
MW: You’re such a romantic. How have you stayed single this long?
TV: Coma.
Voice from outside: POINK?
TV: Come on. We’ve got history to make, Misty. And I’ve got enough credit to get us a king-sized bed. I’ll even spring for a massage. And room-service. Whatever you want.
MW: Alright, Insane. Let’s hit the road.
TV: Oh, one last quick thing.
[Trey opens his phone and hits speed dial number. Misty grabs her stuff and then packs up Trey's computer while he speaks.]
TV: Seth? Buddy! Great news! You gotta call me. Hey, you’re not having sex with a bear fur rug right now, are you? Hey, seriously, good luck in that main event match. Bring home the Swiss Army Belt for the iAd. Oh, and I think I just saw Massive Man and Jim walking on a cake with your picture on it and laughing outside. Don’t know what that means. Maybe you do? Later, bro.
[Trey hangs up.]
MW: You’re such a punk.
TV: Thanks! Oh WAIT! One last phone call.
[Trey opens his phone and hits speed dial number.]
TV: Hello, I’m looking for Connie Lingus? Hi Connie. I was wondering if I could squeeze your Charmins? BWAHAHAHAHA!
MW: *Snort*
[Trey hangs up.]
TV: Hope Studs doesn’t get belted again over that one.
MW: What am I gonna do with you?
TV: I can think of a few things.
[Fade out.]