Did Somebody Bring Back the YGBKM title?
[We open somewhere in Sin City. Death is strolling down a dark street, twirling his scythe.]
Death: (Singing) As a crowd gathers ’round an angry young man, face down on the street with a gun in his hand, in the ghetto. In the ghetTO!
Katie Death: Raaar!
Death: Yes, Katie? I’m working at the moment.
Katie Death: Raa Rar?
Death: There’s supposed to be a gang fight here in a few minutes. A couple new arrivals.
Katie Death: Rarr. Raarrr. Raaar. Doctraaaar. R. R. R.
Death: Plants? What did he have to say to me.
Katie Death: Rar.
Death: He named Nurse Heidi my tag team partner? Are you kidding me?
Katie Death: Raaaaaar.
Death: Well…that means only one thing. Plants. I’m naming you the only fitting partner. Plants. If your tag team partner had his own show, he would bring back the You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me, I Ain’t Doing That title, and, well, actually, he’d probably replace it with one of his own and award it to himself. Oh yes, him!
Katie: Rar Rar Raaar?
Death: What she said. BWAHAHAHAHA. That’s right. At Massively Cool, it’s going to be Death and Nurse Horny versus, Dr. Silaconne M. Paunch and BOB’s savior himself….Axl. Van. Halen. Oh, and speaking of Axl…I have a little DVD I’d like to show you.
[Death and Katie barge into a slum apartment. The guy who answers the door gets poked in the chest by Death, killing the stoned dude of Lung AIDS. Death pops in the DVD. Yes, Lung AIDS is a real disease. I swear. The DVD comes on to reveal a very thin SMP....wow, SMP sure got bony all of a sudden. Does SMP have cancer or something? He lost all his hair...and skin except for that mask looking thing on his face? Is that a mask? Anyway, SMP is in one of his trademark suits and holding a scalpel on a stage.]
SMP: Get it? Got it? Good!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!
SMP: *Ahem* Alright. How about some new material. What did the two condoms say when they walked past the gay bar? Let’s go get shit faced!…BWAHAHAHAHA!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!
SMP: What’s the diference between a fag and a freezer? Freezers don’t fart when you pull the meat out…BWAHAHAHA!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!
SMP: I’m such a heel. OK. Two queers and two dikes decide to race from San Fransisco to New York. Who do you think wins? The DIKES, because they leave lickety split, while the queers go home and pack their shit! BWAHAHAHA!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!
[Death switches off the DVD.]
Katie: Rar raar raa?
Death: Of course that was…NOT me! Silly girl. That was SMP.
Katie: R. R. R. Ra rar.
Death: Well, he didn’t look very fat there. Besides, how could somebody be fat on what BOB pays? Well, Plants, good luck getting a tag yourself. Although…I may have to talk to Generic Ref about not allowing smacks on the ass as tags in Axl’s case. See you at Massively Cool, SMP. And then…whenever the big showdown is, probably in December if my information is correct, it’ll be one on one. And Dr. Death will be IN…THE….BALLROOOOOOOOOOOM! And you will be executed excellently. Wow, that sounded lame. Remind me never to use that 80’s sounding crap again, Katie.
Katie: RA.
[Shots ring out in the distance. Then a siren.]
Death: Crap, I’m late. Get shuffling, Katie. I’ve got promises to fulfill. And miles to go before I kill…