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The posthumous inequities a youth faces in hell…

September 26th, 2005

Kevin the Pyromaniac

[We open to the stairway to heaven, Kevin the Pyromaniac is there being egged on by Kurt Angel.]

KA: Go on, off you go.

KtP: But I’m too young to die!

KA: You’re already dead.

KtP: I guess I can’t argue with that, I suppose I’ll be fucking supermodels and pornstars 24/7 in heaven.

Death: Actually…

[The stairway parts beneath Kevin’s feet and he falls down into the agonizing pits of hell. He is in whatever circle it is that Dante wrote about that is all ice and shit. Kevin tries to light a match but gets nothing. All is unflammable.]

KtP: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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  1. September 27th, 2005 at 16:25 | #1

    *A stuck-up literature professor is shown in an overstuffed armchair.*

    Professor: That would be the ninth circle of Hell, where traitors are sent.

  2. September 27th, 2005 at 17:36 | #2

    Kamikaze Ken once asked Kevin not to eat the Turkey Sandwich he had saved in a refrigerator, and he had consumed it within ten seconds of him leaveing… so it makes sense.

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