~~~As soon as Hallucination Boy jumps from his practice ladder and “fade it” occurs…. jump cut to some undisclosed location—
[WARNING! UNDISCLOSED LOCATION EQUATES TO A PLACE THAT CANNOT POSSIBLY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE FOUND BY MR. PARADOX, DR. THRILLA, OR ANYBODY ELSE!]
—where you immediately see Steve Studnuts, Connie Lingus, Jizzabelle Cummings, and yes… Muhammad Ali. Steve and Ali are sitting on a white, leather couch, Connie and Jizz are stradling the armrests… Connie is on Steve’s right, Jizz is on Ali’s left… and playing with his hair.~~~
Studs: Hello, kiddies…. I’m just hangin’ out, checkin’ on all the shit that goes on in BOB. If you’d notice to my right, a scantily clad Connie Lingus, whose nipples look like marbles right now, is anxiously awaitin’ this to be over so she can be all over my stick.
Connie: Steve! Knock it off…
Studs: Oh, I’m gonna knock somethin’ off, alright…. I’m gonna knock me off a piece of that snappy whisker biscuit. Ya dig?
[Ali chimes in with a slight whisper and a shaky right hand waving in front of him]
Ali: You know… back in the day….. we called it…. a nappy little sister.
[DISCLAIMER: MUHAMMAD ALI, OR CASSIUS CLAY IF YOU WILL, MOST LIKELY DID NOT REFER TO PUSSY AS A NAPPY LITTLE SISTER]
~~~Steve acts surprised to see Ali~~~
Studs: (sarcastically) Why Muhammad, what on EARTH are you doin’ here? I thought you were….. kidnapped. Heh.
Ali: (whispering again) You know…. I told Smokin’ Joe, that Uncle Tom, not to go down to Manila. He wanted to ring the bell, wanted to be part of somethin’ special…… but how could anybody…. mistake that big, ugly gorilla….. for The Greatest? I’m pretty. I’m so pretty.
Jizz: Yes you are, Mr. Ali. Wanna do it? I can hold it for ya.
Studs: JIZZ! Gatdamn… don’t make light of the man’s Parkinson’s. This man’s a legend. A REAL LEGEND. Like Me. Like Trey. Like Seth…. but not like some fool like douja… who cowers in front of his gatdamn weed pimp like a little bitch over 500 clams. See, I told you guys that ass plug was only back in BOB to get some drug money. He can’t even pay up 5 Bens. Shit, I wipe my ASS with hundreds, jerkweed…. and it usually takes at least six or seven, because you see…. I always have this little bit that hangs on no matter how many times I wipe….
Connie: (interrupting) Steve? You’re getting gross….
Studs: ANY-way… Mr. Paradox, who I’m goin’ to WEAR OUT like a pair of fuckin’ socks, and Dr. Thrilla, who I’m goin’ to BREAK IN HALF like a wafer…. MADE OF NILLA, you two retards can’t even get stealin’ somebody right. By the way, I’d stay the fuck out of Manila if I were you guys, ’cause I’ve sent the authorities pictures of you clowns and they’ve been posted all over the country. And the authorities don’t play around there, they’d just assume shoot your ass than anythin’ else.
Connie: Steve? Are you about finished? I’m really horny.
Studs: Ya know, so am I. That’s why I’m goin’ to wrap this up….then I’m goin’ out to find some strange. That’s always more excitin’.
Connie: But what about me?
Studs: (whiny voice) What about me? What about me? *pffffft* What about Pigeon? (normal voice) You have a vibrator. Hell, you have Ali right here….I’m sure he’s still GREAT enough for a threesome with you and Jizz. Isn’t that right, Champ?
Ali: (whispering) I’ll float like a butterfly…. and sting like a bee.
[SECOND DISCLAIMER: DESPITE THE FACT THAT MUHAMMAD ALI IS LIKE….SIXTY SOME YEARS OLD…. I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT HE COULD STILL HANDLE TWO WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME, BUT I DO HAVE DOUBTS IF HE COULD STILL FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY OR STING LIKE A BEE.]
Studs: (to Connie and Jizz) You guys take care of The Greatest, now…. and be discreet about it. I don’t want Itchy and Scratchy tryin’ to find him and fuck up my plans by takin’ him. Okay?
In closin’, douja…. I apologize about the picture I posted of you a couple of days ago by sayin’ you looked like that guy. I stand corrected… your lips are bigger. YA DIG?! JERKWEED!
We’re outta here… have a nice day. And have fun, Champ.
Ali: (whispering) Oh, I will. I’m gonna shake up their worlds.
Studs: (snickers) No pun intended, right?