(We see long time BOB interview guy Dennis dressed rather 1970’s-ish and wearing a bowler’s cap to hide his balding head. We won’t go into much more detail than that. With him is a creepy looking he/she with gaudy make-up and crack pipe burns just noticeable under his/her? lipstick. Also, if you were really perceptive, you can almost see the heroin withdrawls.)
Dennis: I say ol’ bird, g’day. My, it’s great to finally have a fellow Brit in this venue. Pleased to make your acquaintance. I hear you might be poppin’ in to the jolly ol’ BOB soon and stay a spell. Care to comment?
Mysterious Guest: (singing) Desert loving in your eyes… all the way. POINK! If I listen to your lies… would you say.
Dennis: Would I say what, ol’ bean?
MG: (still singing) I’m a man… without conviction, NURFLE! POINK! I’m a man… who doesn’t know …how to sell… a contradiction….
You come and go… you come and go.
Dennis: Man, please. You’re not makin’ a bit-o-sense. I say old chap, are you going to wrestle in BOB or what?
MG: (still singing) Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream…
red gold and green, red gold and green. SQUIGGLY POO!
Dennis: I say you’re a slightly bizarre fellow. A hint androgynous, I would say. Listen, this segment is a bit boorish and ridiculous, do you have anything to say that would lead me to believe you’re a serious contender in the ranks of BOB?
MG: (continuing to sing) Don’t hear your wicked words every day… BILLY BALDWIN!
and you used to be so sweet, I heard you say… WATER BUFFALO
that my love was an addiction…. HEIDI MASSAGE!
When we cling our love is strong… FLATLINE POINKS!
Dennis: THIS IS NONSENSE, MY GOOD MAN! Tell me now the meaning of this rambling diatribe, you lunatic she-male! DO YOU HAVE A MISSION HERE? DO YOU HAVE AN AXE TO GRIND? I SAY, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A NAME?
MG: (singing more) When you go you’re gone forever…You string along, you string along…. (pauses. wait for it)
I HAVE A NAME, MY BATHWATER IS JEALOUS! GENERAL RECTION ATE MY SPEAKERS! I HAD CINDY CRAWFORD’s AND ANGIE EVERHARTS CHILDREN, DELIVERING TWO BOUNCIN’ BABY IGUANAS THROUGH MY DEVEATED SEPTUM!
FOR I AM…(Starts singing again) COMA COMA COMA COMA COMA… CHAMELEON! HA!
(runs off, falls over)