BOB eWrestling | Rant Zone Archive!

~~~Steve Studnuts is seen in his VERY SPACIOUS AND LAVISHLY DECORATED mansion which is nestled somewhere in Phoenix, Az. A scantily clad Connie Lingus is also seen, sitting on Steve’s ALL BLACK & GENUINE LEATHER sectional. She’s watching some kind of crappy awards show on Steve’s SUPER EXPENSIVE PLASMA SCREEN T.V. THAT’S BIGGER THAN YOUR HOUSE. Steve now moves off screen, but you can still hear him as the view focuses on a VERY BORED AND NEARLY SUICIDAL Connie as she’s forced to continue watching Steve’s SUPER EXPENSIVE PLASMA SCREEN T.V. THAT’S BIGGER THAN YOUR HOUSE. Did I mention that Connie’s nipples are ERECT AND EASILY NOTICABLE?~~~

Studs: (from off screen) Hey, Connie… did I win niecs ass?

Connie: No, Steve… some dumb chick won it.

Studs: (still off screen) What about Goodest Good Guy?

Connie: That was a joke, hon… I don’t think that was an actual award.

Studs: (continuing to be off screen) GAT-DAMMIT!

~~~Steve now appears in view because I’m tired already of writing ‘off screen’. He joins Connie on the sectional and he’s looking very tan and muscular. Look at him and you’ll see.~~~

Studs: I hated that fed, but I thought they’d at least give me something.

Connie: Come on, Steve… you didn’t REALLY work there, you just like watching MST.

Studs: WHO DOESN’T? Well, not counting the fuckin’ retards that run those shitty feds. I mean really, you have to LOVE retarded fed heads that run those piss poor shitholes, which in turn causes cool and smart dudes like Trey and Seth to pick on their stupid, retarded, no spellin’ skills havin’, retarded, retard feds. THEY’RE RETARDED! And their feds are retarded. And if they shit on their own promotion, their shit would be retarded.

Connie: Ooooooo-kay.

Studs: Say, wasn’t that an AWESOME party I threw last month? GAT-DAMN that was one for the ages! I’ve never seen Seth so drunk. I think he did it with Jizzabelle.

Connie: No, that was Trey.

Studs: No, Trey watched from the closet. HEY! What time is it? I need to see what’s goin’ on with the BOB. Turn this shit off… put it on forums. Ya know, the Rant Zone shit.

(She complies. Steve watches, albeit very briefly. )

Studs: Who the fuck is Jerry Curl? At least he could have been somewhat 21st Century and called himself Jerri Kurl. You’re nobody until you intentionally misspell your name to get over. Ya dig?

Connie: But you don’t…

Studs: I don’t NEED to misspell MY name to get over, Connie. I’m over. Big time over. I’m over like over the fuckin’ rainbow over. That’s a fact. Jerry Curl? How fuckin’ stupid is THAT?

Connie: I think he’s douja’s nephew…. at least that’s what I think I read. Ummm, saw.

Studs: douja… prime example of a black dude threatenin’ to sue the man if he didn’t put multiple straps on him. douja sucks, always sucked, always will suck, yet that sorry fucker has held every single title in BOB. Al Sharpton had a hand in that, I tell ya. Jesse Jackson and that fucker that said, “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit,” did to. It’s a conspiracy, I swear it is! If douja was in WWE, he’d be just another Booker T. An Intercontinental title and that’s it. IF he even got THAT. Punk ass bitch….

Connie: Steve?

Studs: What?

Connie: You’re sounding very racist.

Studs: Am I? Shit, I didn’t even get to the one where I asked you, “What do you call a black kid with a brand new bike?”

~~~Cut to static, for the simple reason that Steve Studnuts is dangerously close to breaking one of the few rules that’s actually enforced in BOB so they don’t get kicked of Proboards. Besides, his handler is at work and is dangerously close to getting busted in his office, fucking off on the computer, and wasting valuable company time playing when he could be designing a new form or something. So, in an attempt to save his job, Steve’s handler types:

Steve Studnuts rant BOB, douja, efed, ewrestling, iAd, Jerry Curl Jones, MST3K, parody, seth harker, Steve Studnuts, Trey Vincent