Whore Man Smiley
Studs: Hey, fuck knuckle. Yeah you… scene set-up guy, shut your cakehole, pal… I don’t have time to sit through that shit today. Okay? Look… I’m at home, I have two slutty, half-naked sluts around here somewhere, I’m tan and I look good. That’s all you people need to know.
ANY-way, I see that Spaceduck got pissed… okay, PISSED, ‘cause I ribbed him a little. Dude, I was just trying to be cool like I thought you guys were. I wanted to join Festering Death.
Alright that’s a lie. Sue me.
I didn’t wanna join you two cyber fags, and why would I? I’m iAd, BEEE-ATCH! Everybody that’s ANYBODY knows iAd is the shit, man. The greatest fuckin’ thing to hit wrestling since G.L.O.W., jack. And that’s a fact. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling revolutionized the biz, that is… until the iAd came along. You can make book on that, Missy…
( Steve walks over to his computer )
Studs: Now then, if my shenanigans from the other day ruffled your feathers, Spaceduck… you’re REALLY gonna LOVE this!
( Steve starts typing away, the camera zooms in on his Magnavox Super VGA comp monitor. )
=C]
Studs: Ya see that, Spaceduck? There’s your boy Spacecop, sitting there mindin’ his own business. He’s oblivious the fact that I’m getting ready to bunghole rape his stupid ass. But first, I have to work my stick a little and get it ready, ya dig?
8=D
Studs: There’s my wang, dude, all soft and lifeless at the moment… but a little lube, a stroke or two… and wah-lah…
8==D
8====D
8======D
Studs: OH YEAH! LIKE A BRICK, BABY!
8======D …………. =C]
Studs: There’s Spacecop again, with my wiener creepin’ up on him, the dumb ass doesn’t even see it coming…
8======D . =C]
Studs: I’m getting closer, but that retard doesn’t run at all. I think he WANTS it! Heh.
8======D =C]
Studs: He’s still sitting there, kinda like a sitting spaceduck. Nah, that would be you. I’ll get back to you on that…
8======8C]
Studs: LOOK AT HIS EYES! HIS EYES! I think it’s hurtin’ him a bit! BWAAAA HAAAA!
8=== >C|
Studs: He’s sqeezin’ those eyes pretty tight! That’s not the ONLY thing that’s tight if you catch my drift.
8== >Co
Studs: CAN YOU FEEL THAT? HUH… HUH…. HUH?!
8= >CO
8= >C (
Studs: What a trooper, he took the whole thing! And he told me his glory hole was pure! LYING BASTARD!
< ===o===8
Studs: As you can see, I’ve withdrawn and flipped my doob. It’s also appears I’ve picked up a foreign object on my shaft. Could be a kernel… DID YOU EAT CORN RECENTLY, SPACECOP? YOU FILTHY SMILEY FUCK? I guess it COULD be a speck of shit on there or somethin’, I’m no expert, ya know? It also would appear my meathead got mashed into a point from Spacecop's sphincter... but after the head got through it was smooth sailin' from there. Calm seas and blue skies...
=<>
Studs: Uh oh, there you are, Spaceduck…. and my, don’t you look hungry.
=<> < ===o===8
Studs: Here it comes, big boy, and ain’t washin’ it off either!
=<. .> < ===o===8
Studs: Well… would you look at that? Spaceduck looks very receptive for a dookie covered love muscle coming his way! You’re even openin’ up that gutter-talk spewin’ bill of yours...
=< < ==o===8 >
Studs: WOW! I’m gonna start callin’ you SpaceJennaJamison! Or maybe after that chick from the porn classic, Deep Throat. SpaceLindaLovelace, yeah… that’s it. Or maybe just SpaceLace for short… has a nice ring to it, don’t ya think?
B<>
Studs: You’re eyes are all bugged out, but you got it down. Congrats, dude.
So tell me, what did Spacecop’s asshole, plus my cyber trouser snake, taste like? Does it taste like chicken? I’m dyin’ to know… tell me! The suspense is riveting. I hope it lasts…
( Steve gets up and faces the camera )
Studs: Listen, you scroungy fuck… do you KNOW who I AM? DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE? We’re the iAd, you smiley little shit ass.
Don’t fuck with the fuckers… you might get FUCKED. Ya dig, jerkweed?
Roll the end of promo stuff, butt plug. I’m outta here.