Finally, Kay Fabe, HAS COME BACK to the Rant Zone
[Backstage at some arena. Or maybe it's in a school. Who knows? All we can see is a wall. And on that wall is a piece of white rectangular paper. And on the paper is written a name. The name of Kay Fabe. But this time, THE HOT ONE is standing in front of it. A Kay Fabe chant breaks out. She is standing next to a man with a pair of undies on his head. Why, it's none other than Xamfir! Oops, did this bit already, it's MEEEEEEAHHHHH!]
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: Well, Kay, the first question on everyone’s mind, is what’s going on inside of you?
[Kay, who is dressed up in a very low cut Laying The Carpet Down T-shirt and has her beautiful red hair down today, pulls her sunglasses down a touch to look MEEEEEEAHHHHH in the eyes.]
KF: Despite the rumors, Kay Fabe is NOT on the rag!
[Crowd pops!]
KF: Which means Kay Fabe is not REALLY pissed off, but Kay Fabe is still pissed.
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: No, I meant, INSIDE of you. With The Domino thing? It’s a character development point?
KF: Ah, the lesbian smells like your cooking. It smells like a skunk took a dump! That’s what Kay Fabe says about you and your character development. Look at you, with your little undies on your head. But fine, you want to know how Kay Fabe and The Domino are getting along. Kay Fabe says we have meshed. We are one. Kay Fabe had the wrestling talent but was boring. She needed an edge.
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: Then why didn’t you channel the spirit of an Edge parody? You know, like Side? You know, Baptist’s partner.
KF: An edge, not Edge you panflute playing, masturbating, never gonna be laying Kay!
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: NOOOOOO. That made no sense! All you do is rip off The Domino!
KF: Kay Fabe and The Domino are like a married couple, without any of the disgusting man parts. We are soul mates. Literally. He gave me an attitude. Kay Fabe has the sports entertaining ability. And together, Kay Fabe is going to the MAIN EVENT! Need proof jabronie? Just look at this upcoming NAGAM!
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: So what are your thoughts on fighting the Undietaker?
KF: Well, he walks around, trying to be like the Hot One, but he isn’t the Hot One and never will be the sexiest lesbian in parody sports entertainment today. He walks around with those two tall retards, trying to be a big shot, trying to be like Kay Fabe, but Undietaker, you will never. And Kay Fabe means EVER. Be more than a rooooody pooooo, candy ass! And you walk around with those handis, Kay Fabe wipes her ass with your handis. Booda, booda, booda, ah shut yer mouths jabronies!
[Crowd cheers.]
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: MRGH!
KF: Know your role and shut your hole, jabronie. All you care about is undies and stealing undies and taking over the world. Well let Kay Fabe tell you something. Get ready. Because your candy ass is NEXT. Jabronie, JUST BRING IT! (she says doing the gesture with her hand, palm up, pulling her fingers towards her body, opening and closing them with a chickish bad ass look on her face.)
KF: The Hot One doesn’t care about your troubles with the Real Undietaker, Fake Undietaker, New Undietaker, Dead Undietaker, Crusty Undietaker, BVD, DVD, DMD, MP3, Calvin Klein, or any of those Fruits of the Loom! Because, without a shadow of a doubt, Kay Fabe is going to walk down the lesbian’s aisle, walk up the lesbian’s steps, get in the lesbian’s ring, and proceed to lay the carpet down on your undie stealing, wheeling, dealing, Undiemobile riding, Chef Boyundie Ravioli and Undie-flaking eating ass!
Now you’re talking like you’re gonna steal the lesbian’s panties? There’s only one thing you’re gonna take from Kay Fabe. And that is the single WORST beating of your life! But the Hot One’s got news for you Undietaker. You will never. And KAY FABE MEANS NEVER, steal Kay Fabe’s bra.
[She pauses and looks around. She then licks her lips seductively. MEEEEEEAHHHHH gasps as his tongue hangs out. Crowd is popping like trained dogs.]
KF: Because, Undietaker, Kay Fabe does not, WEAR, a bra.
[MEEEEEEAHHHHH tips over. Kay Fabe looks down at him. She bends over, revealing a LOT of cleavage (did somebody get a little enhancement in her time away from the rant zone?) She picks up the mic and puts it to her lips and pauses.]
KF: If you weren’t unconscious MEEEEEEAHHHHH, no would hear, that THEY, are chanting HER name!
Crowd: Kay Fabe! Kay Fabe! Kay Fabe! Kay Fabe!
KF: To me, Undietaker, you are 300 plus pounds of crap in a five pound bag with a Mickey Mouse haircut. And it’s time to take out the trailer trash. So I’m gonna take you down Domino Rally Drive at the corner of Tip Over Avenue and we can stop into Domino’s Pizza and smell what Dominoes is cooking.
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: NOOOOO!
KF: So just bring it with the woman of a thousand catchphrases and T-shirts. Go one, on one, with the HOT ONE, and get your monkey ass made famous. Damnit MEEEEEEAHHHHH, are you looking at the lesbian’s pie?
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: Um, yeah (he says ashamed). Your skirt is so short, and, honestly Kay, I’ve never even looked at you this way before.
KF: Do you want to feel Kay’s Bottom?
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: Do I!
KF: Do you want to taste, The Lesbian’s Tongue?
MEEEEEEAHHHHH: Do I!
KF: That’s too bad jabronie. Get into a match with me.
[The crowd laughs. MEEEEEEAHHHHH runs down the hall, asking if anyone has any change so he can call the BigBOSS.]
KF: So Undietaker. You seem to like those handis of yours. So Kay Fabe’s gonna tell you what she’s gonna do. She’s gonna take those handis. Gonna dump a ton of KY Jelly on them. Make ‘em nice and lubed. Then she’s gonna bend you over, and stick both of those handis right up your monkey ass!!!!!!!
[She inhales deeply.]
KF: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALALALALALALALA. AWHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA. OWWWWWWW. What the lesbian…is cookin’.
[She drops the mic as "Queer" begins to blast and we pan the cheering crowd full of Kay Fabe signs.]