Archive for July, 2002


July 20th, 2002
Comments Off on VROOM, VROOM!

{{{{Scene: The Next Big Thingee in BOB is at the try outs for a new Mazda commercial. Some talent scout lady calls him into a room from the lobby of a waiting area where a bunch of young boys are accompanied by their parents and are being warned not to screw up their vicarious chances at stardom. The scout lady looks at Dustbuster Boy a bit strange, since he’s kinda old to pass for a young boy, but lets him in anyway.Once inside, they tell him to step on an X on the floor and look at a set up camera. Then read the line, zoom, zoom. This follows.}}}}

Dusbuster Boy: Vroom, vroom!

Guy: No. The line is, zoom, zoom. And quieter.

Dustbuster Boy: VROOM, VROOM!

Guy: Are you hard of hearing? I said quieter, almost like a whisper. And lean forward and stare at the camera.

{{{{He does the last bit there.}}}}


Guy: Hey! Who let this, guy, in here. (I think he just looked up for the first time.) He’s obviously not a little boy. Who are you and why are you here?

Dustbuster Boy: I’m Dustbuster Boy. And I heard you need a boy to sell cars. Nobody cleans a car like my dustbuster. I’ll get them real clean so everyone wants to buy one!

{{{{He then reveals the dustbuster, which he had been cleverly hiding behind his back with his left arm all this time. He then revs up the motor. Kinda like a motorcycle. But in dustbuster form, to show off his manhood. And is his manhood in scale (motorcyle to dustbuster)? One can only assume}}}}

Dustbuster Boy: I can vaccuum out all your cars and make ’em real purty. Just like your lips.

Guy: I think you misunderstood the classified ad.

Dustbuster Boy: (Quietly) Ad?

Guy: We were looking for a new spokesboy for our ad. Not a reject from wherever you come from. You really think you could sell a Mazda?

Dustbuster Boy: Probably not, since I can’t sell wrestling moves too good yet. I’m a rookie.

Guy: You’re a what? A wrestler? You look like you should be working at Burger King.

Dustbuster Boy: Yeah, like I could get such a high-class job. I can’t even get your precious car cleaning job.

Guy: There is no car cleaning job!

Dustbusuter Boy: Oh, so you filled it? Then why are you interviewing me?

Guy: Get OUT!

Dustbuster Boy: Fine, Mr. I’m-Too-Good-To-Interview-Someone-Too-Old-For-A-Job-You’re-Not-Even-Qualified-For.

{{{{Dustbuster Boy leaves the building and sits down on the street and cries. Booohooohoooosobsobboohoooo. Then, a man put his hand on Dustbuster Boy’s shoulder. He looked up and a Styrofoam cup on a string hit him in the eye.}}}}

Man: Excuse me, sir. Are you Dustbuster Boy?

Dustbuster Boy: Yes (he said wiping his nose on the length of his arm with a snort).

Man: My name is Peter F. Hayman. F. Hayman for short. And I would like to be your agent.

Dustbuster Boy: I’m not an actor. I can’t even get a vaccuum job. I can’t even spell vacccumm right.

F. Hayman: Well, we’re gonna turn you into THE NEXT BIG THINGEE in BOB. You are a cookie monster!!!

Dustbuster Boy: I thought it was rookie monster?

F. Hayman: Avoiding lawsuits Dust.

Dustbuster Boy: Can’t I be a nookie monster?

F. Hayman: We’ll talk.

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A chloroform future

July 20th, 2002
Comments Off on A chloroform future

Trey Vincent entered the Brawlers On a Budger computer center.

From his penthouse.

It is Geocities, people!

Yes, as new BOB ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS, he is finally going to make this place work the way it is supposed to work. And now with booking control and the federations top title, nothing can stop him from his evil plan for the iAd to take over BOB. OK, his AND Studnuts’ plan.

Not even that mystery opponent at MMM Trey Vincent booked himself to fight against. Who is it? Oh, wouldn’t YOU like to know. That’s why you’re gonna have to tune in bitches. Besides all that, we’ve got ourselves a big announcement. Oh yeah we do.

Trey put on his speaker home and hit the speed dial. After some beeps, a familiar voice picked up the phone.




“What’s up brah?”

“Um. Nothing. What are you up to?”

“I was suddenly in the mood to rant for no apparent reason.”

“Oh, okay. Let me go get a snack.”


Trey heard the phone hit the table, or whatever the hell Seth has in his house. Trey was actually afraid to go see where Seth lives. That boy ain’t right. Trey continued to navigate the Geocities site and click on the little links for site statistics. And then he saw it.

“BWAHAHAHAHA. Oh my fucking God!”

“I’m back. What is it?”

“I was just screwing around in the BOB site and, you have got to hear what our sick fans are searching for to find our site.”

“OK.” Crunching sounds were heard on the phone as Trey began to read off stuff.

“wrestler who funded with jake the snake roberts who had rats in a bag. 80’s song ooh fire. skateboarding beer belly gut photos. sackhammer. life sized cardboard cut out of legolas. stephanie mcmahon peeing her panties.”

“Are you serious?” Seth asked.


“They keep track of stuff like that? I mean, uh, what sick freaks! I wonder if they found any of those pictures.”

“invisible baseball bat. punched him square breadbasket. bitch slapped own damned hand puppet. woman wrestlers with huge boobs doing painful submissions with their boobs.”

Trey broke out into hysterics and tipped over in his chair, laughing too hard to keep going. After the laughter began to die down, he crawled back up to his chair and saw more.

“upskirt caps tv. geek’s underpants.”


“women rasslers. +steve +dell +naked +dude you’re gettin a dell gay.”

Chair. Tips. Bwahahaha.

A few minutes later.

“Dude, you’re getting a dell gay,” Seth said with a snort.

Trey tipped over again.

Time passed.

“Okay. hello kitty bob butt smacker. hello mother hello father lyrics. give me materials to make a wrestling ringnow. giant pectorials. gay wrestling teen submission holds.”

“And I thought YOU were sick, Trey.”

“I know! We’ve also got here, umcluster fluck. good times and temporary layoffs. smart live crack. chezch men. the wrestling gimmicks hall of shame. chloroformed necro.”

“Tell me you didn’t just say chloroformed necro.”

“I just said chloroformed necro.”

“What’s the point? Knocking out a dead person? Totally redundant.”

“Yeah, my first thought too,” Trey said with a sigh. “wrestler scotty 2 snotty. korean fuck pussy thump. Whoops. Think that was mine. I was very upset when I found BOB after that.”

“As you should. BOB’s site sucks. As does the fed. Look at it! It’s brown and yellow!”

“the bulge penis enhancer,” Trey continued. “Ah, must’ve been BigBoss there.”

“No comment,” Seth said with a chuckle.

“buy damaged wwf replica belts. midget drawf people life death. +rag +chloroform +jock.”

“Aldo Montoya making a comeback?” Seth asked with a chuckle.

Trey continued, shaking his head in disbelief.

“korean massage ma. robert grum cartoon. what is shrimpin.”

“What is shrimpin?”

“Yup. lesbian wrestling jobbers. wwf lita’s pussy. Aww. Guilty again on that one.”

“Tsk, tsk, Trey.”

“the biggest boovs ever.”

Chair. Tips. Bwahahaha.

After, “Boovs,” Seth said with a snort.

Trey almost tipped over again and bwahahahaed some more.

“ooh baby huge boobs boobs”

Both guys went into hysterics for about a minute.

“huge asshole openings. gay chloroform. male male chloroform video.”

“Damn, maybe we should run a chloroform match.”

“Will do. On BOB’s final NAGAM, we will have some sort of chloroform match. What else have we got here. stacy keiblers tits.”

“Keep searching,” Seth said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, really. gay male chloroform.”

“Bro, this is getting disgusting.”

“Oh, listen to this one. video – gay male gut punching.”

“Gut punching?” he said in disbelief. “DaaaaaaAAAAmn.”

“chloroform unconscious. anthropomorphic wrestling. panties squaredance. discrimination againsed work. andelay speedy gonzales. wakka headband. brandons sock pictures. sweaty rolls.

“Ewww. Dude, I’ve had enough. And why is Brandon looking for sock pictures?”

“Who cares? Who is Brandon?”

“That idiot we punk out on every show, that gay boy band guy.”

“Oh, one of those guys. Well, I called you for a rant, but this was far more entertaining in MY opinion.”

“It was, something.”

“Hey, remember that thing I told you about. You think I should tell everyone about it on the BOB site or wait for our debut show?”

“Um, isn’t our debut show this week?”

“Oh yeah. Guess I’ll update that BOB front page. Right after I check out some porn.”

“OK, I’m hanging up. I’m not listening to you search for porn again. Learned my lesson last time.”

“OK Seth. Later brother.”


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