Anger, swerves, betrayal, an unexpected climax….
Posted by Little Good on 1/16/2002 at 21:07:26
Little Good threw his remote onto the floor of his apartment and began jumping up and down on it. Bits of plastic and little numbers and buttons spread in every direction. Two AA batteries roll away.
“Oh, bloody hell. Now how the hell am I supposed to change the channel? Damn the Slayer. Damn her.”
He pulls a pack of cigarettes out from his leather jacket, pulls out a lighter, and lights up. He had been watching the “classic” Buffy “The Jobber Slayer” roleplays.
“Fine, let’s just do an old school promo here. Sarah. I’m sick of these frigging classic roleplays. Nobody cares where you come from. They only watch you because you’re so hot. What the hell was the point of the last three promos? Huh? You’re not even trashing an opponent in them. What’s wrong with you? Damn BOB, damn the Burp channel, whatever the hell that is. You’re just so proud of that damn Swiss Army Title, aren’t you? So you have to gloat. Live off your past glory. Can’t even grace us with new material?”
He paces back and forth, inhaling most of the rest of the cigarette.
“And what about BOB? Gluttons For Punishment? I didn’t win, I know. My great evil plan didn’t pan out, but I’m sure I’ll have more little good plans, which will hurt none more than the Slayer. I am going to make your life a living hell. The Jobber Revolution is coming. It only takes one jobber to end the Slayer’s career. And I’m going to find that jobber…or I’ll end your career myself….But only if it’s on PPV. Now bugger off.”
Later. At Jeers. The bar in Cloudydale.
Little Good is seated at the bar, drinking. A girl sits down next to him. A redhead. It’s Kay Fabe!
The door opens.
“Evening everybody!”
“Xamfir!” everyone but Little Good greets.
Then Xamfir sits down on the other side of Little Good. Little Good looks at both of them in disbelief. Why in the hell are they at Jeers?
A bartender wearing a horse’s mask (ah, the irony) walks up to Xamfir.
“Beer me,” Xamfir tells him.
“Hold on, hold on,” Little Good says. “Wait a bleeding minute. Why are you two Slayaholics sitting next to one of your biggest enemies?”
“I don’t know,” Kay says. “It’s just, we haven’t had much to do since the title win. With Sarah off on her ego trip, I’ve been forced to look back at myself in my pre-everything that makes me sexy phase. It sucks.”
“And I’m not even introduced yet. Dick Hurtz. C’mon. Such a good move dropping him for me. I’m so much prettier than he. But Little Good, we came here for a reason.”
“Are you two trying to turn heel? That’s so…..intriguing. Well, if you two want to turn heel, there’s only one way to do it. If you want to discuss this further, perhaps over some Chinese, come on over later tonight. We can wait for the next amazing blast from the past to air. Where is Sarah now?”
[Sarah's bedroom.]
It’s dark, but we can see Sarah laying in bed under a blanket. Her shoulders are naked, and she’s snuggled up next to her Swiss Army title belt, which lays on the pillow beside her. She strokes the belt softly and then closes her eyes to get some sleep.