getting ready for ANDE
–Clive starts rolling with “Charlie” sitting in his gold, velvet recliner at the undisclosed-highrise-furnished-by-Vietnamese-government. He’s staring at his 98 inch television screen. Viet Kong stands behind “Charlie” with his massive arms crossing his own chest…Blackjack tries to mimic Kong’s stance…–
“HELLRO AWL YOO STOOPID PEEPOLE! Mee juss sit heir an’ wha-chee wot dat stoopid meejet coom oop wit fur steepoolashuns. Reffee seet awn fay-cee? AWR YOO GAY-EE?! Dat’s eet, yoo gay-ee, Speenk! YOO BEE DOOKEE DODGUR! YOO BEE TOORD BOOGLA! Mee noo rike man haff too sit awn mee fay-cee, soo yoo gonna geet beetin’ awf RIFETIME! Dere NOO WAY-EE mee gonna ret yoo poot reffee awn mee fay-cee an’ soof-o-kate MEE! NEV-A! An’ ploos mee goot too wheir SOOMO STOOF? DAT’S REETARDEED! Yoo soo stoopid, Andoo Speenk, mee hate yoo moor evereeday! An’ fur dat, mee gonna kickee yoor rittle ah-soh tiwole yoor rittle bodee can tay-ke NOO MOOR! SOOKIE DAT! Sayee soomding, Brackjack…mee goona geet mee anooda ceegar han’ wrappee buyee COOBAN!
Ahhhhhh, oo-kay lahdie. It be a lookin’ like Kong an’ I have a fight a BREW-in’ it does. Some poonk by tha name of Phoobic an’ a little lass called Natural Booy. Well, it looks like we a gonna have a go in a streetfight it does. An’ I see tha BOSS had to draw you WOOSIES out of a hat he did. I doon’t blames ya for noot woontin’ to have a go with me an’ Kong an’ have to be pulled oot of a hat…boot that’s tha way it gonna be I guess. I also see a coople of lahdies that can’t tell where tha family tree be a branchin’ to, an’ are havin’ prooblems keepin’ tha roots froom poolenatin’ tha same tree ova an’ ova. Listen Ahmazin’ Inbreds…you to lahdies are gonna have a go with us soon enoogh you will…an’ we’ll shoow you a place to stick dose tails ya got udder than your sistas. Why doon’t you two pick oop a coople of ringside seats for ANDE coourtesy of The Unethicals an’ witness what you got a coomin’ to ya? Go ahead, pick ‘em oop you will…an’ Kong and I will shoow you what we do to Phoobic an’ that udder looser we will. Say soomthing Kong, I gots to get me a beer ‘o two. Maybe three. Perhaps nineteen. AYE!
(Kong just stands there, his arms still crossed)
–Fade out–